Decluttering Our Closets While Unpacking Some Issues with Guest Judith Gaton

August 10, 2022
Season 2
Episode 83
 Featured, Identity, Podcast, Self Love, Style & Fashion 56:07

August 11, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 83 / Guest: Judith Gaton

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Show Summary:

Loving what you wear, and knowing why you wear it, starts with your mindset. Our guest this week is Judith Gaton. She helps women become confident in their clothing choices, and with their life choices. We had so much fun talking with Judith about our fashion challenges and decluttering our closets. This episode, though, goes even deeper than your most ignored drawer full of old socks. We get to the heart of why how we see ourselves – with and without clothes – matters.

More About Judith Gaton:

Judith Gaton is a stylist, Master Certified life coach, author, and former lawyer. Through her signature course Style Masterclass, she teaches her clients that thought work is the key to a lasting makeover. Through confidence coaching and mindset work, she helps her clients to see that they can dress and love the body they are in right now. When Style & Confidence are dialed in, women can go do the work they were created to do in the world. Her ultimate style philosophy: Confident Women Build Legacies.

Topics From This Episode

Connect with Judith Gaton:

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Susanne

Judith

Missy

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Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors. 

[00:00:00] Susanne: Welcome to the mom and dot.dot podcast. I’m Suzanne Kerns, mom and.do do writer LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And today I am recovering from early morning yard work. And it was still too hot at 8:00 AM.

And I think it probably would’ve been still too hot at 3:00 AM. Why is everybody moving to Austin? Y’all check the weather. I don’t get it.

[00:00:47] Missy: Pre-one more yard work yesterday and it was still brutal.

[00:00:51] Judith: It’s like a giants breathing on you and you can’t escape them.

[00:00:54] Susanne: Or you’re in the giants mouth. This, what it feels is so bad.

[00:01:00] Missy: awful and buggy and just,

[00:01:03] Susanne: So if I’m still kind of sweating, that’s it. That plus menopause. Good

[00:01:08] Missy: Yeah, it’s fun. It’s good times. All right. I’m Missy Stevens, mom and.dot do writer foster child advocate. And this week a frantic vacation prepper.

[00:01:18] Susanne: oh,

[00:01:18] Missy: a last minute rush to

[00:01:19] Susanne: where you going this time?

[00:01:21] Missy: to Florida, to the beach. Speaking of hot

[00:01:24] Susanne: Gotta, gotta get outta this heat.

[00:01:29] Missy: you know? Oh, that, you know, it will be fun. today, we are so excited to be chatting with Judith Kaan. Judith is a stylist master certified life coach, author, and former lawyer. One of our favorite kinds of people. We love former

[00:01:43] Susanne: Uh, half our guess. I think

[00:01:45] Missy: Yes. yes. Through her signature course, style masterclass, she teaches her clients that thought work is the key to a lasting makeover.

Through confidence, coaching and mindset work. She helps her clients see that they can dress and love the body they are in right now, when style and confidence are dialed in, women can do the work that they were created to do in the world. Her ultimate style philosophy is confident women build legacies.

We love that and are so excited. You’re here

[00:02:13] Judith: I’m excited to be here. Good morning.

[00:02:15] Susanne: Thank you for joining us. And you know what? I just love that idea of loving the body you’re in right now, because I think there are many of us, myself included, especially over the pandemic. My body is about 20 pounds more of it than had been. Previous. And I think part of that’s just middle age menopause.

And I was just realizing, I took my daughter to go get the world’s most expensive bra, because I was like, it’s so important that you have a well fitting bra. Like this is like, you just need to know this through life every year, go get a fitting. And I seriously just. Finally broke out when I was pregnant, I had the little bra extender, you know, those things, they’re basically like a bra clip.

That’s like this big and I’ve had to start using that. And I’m like, why, why am I taking a 16 year old to get like a $70 bra when I am extending my bras with a fake ma this little

makeshift.

[00:03:09] Judith: mom,

[00:03:09] Susanne: So I know, so I love this.

[00:03:12] Missy: to take yourself for a new brawl.

[00:03:14] Susanne: I need to love the body that I’m in right now. Cuz I’m still in that. Oh, any day now, you know, I’ll just snap back to, and I don’t think there is a snap back.

I think this is the body I’m in, at least for now. And I need a bra that fits it. So that’s just, that’s neither here nor there, but oh, but again, welcome. And we shared a little bit about you and your bio, but can you give a little bit more of a 1 0 1 about where your career started your lawyer days and how it’s progressed over the years?

[00:03:42] Judith: Yeah. So I originally actually went to undergrad to be a fashion designer,

[00:03:48] Susanne: Oh,

[00:03:49] Judith: and then I got some negative, well, my perception, my 20 year old brain, my 20 year old undeveloped unskilled brain was like negative feedback end of the world. And then family was like, you’re really smart. You get good grades, you should be a lawyer.

And I was like, yes, that will be easier. I will go be a lawyer.

[00:04:06] Susanne: oh my God.

[00:04:08] Judith: Which is insane. In retrospect, like it’s something a 20 something year old would think and do, right? Like this makes perfect sentence for that. Where, where my brain was in his development, I was like, oh yeah, I’ll go be a lawyer. Um, and I was a very good lawyer.

I made it all the way to partner. I was a litigator for 11 years. I won awards. I won at trial. I was excellent. And I decided, I didn’t just didn’t wanna do it anymore. Like. Couldn’t spend another day. And I think sometimes we flee things because we like hate them or we’re terrible at them. That was not my experience.

And I think for a lot of my listeners in my podcast room and I coach they want a life transition, not because something has gone terribly wrong, they just decide this isn’t for me anymore. And then how do we navigate unwinding? All the things that we’ve now created and did to disentangle ourselves. So

[00:04:58] Susanne: One of my, one of my favorite sayings is there’s nothing more dangerous than being good at something that you hate

or not that you hate, but that you know, that isn’t a good fit for you and it’s cause yeah, it’s nice to feel like you’re good at something but

[00:05:13] Judith: that’s the curse, right. Is like the golden handcuffs, so to speak is like, oh, but I’m so good. And then everyone around you is telling you how good you are all the time. So it just sort of feeds that part of your ego, as opposed to, you know, that truer sense of self. If you believe there’s some sort of separation, then it can be hard to believe that you’re able to do something different for

[00:05:33] Susanne: Yep. Yeah.

[00:05:35] Missy: And you’ve invested time and money into that other

[00:05:37] Judith: Oh, a lot of money. The mortgage on my brain. There’s a fabulous mansion in here. it’s it’s fully decked out. It has a pool, has a deck.

[00:05:46] Missy: yeah.

[00:05:47] Susanne: Oh, my gosh. Okay. So, okay. So you’re deciding that lawyer is not for you and.

[00:05:53] Judith: And then I met other former lawyers who had made this transition. That’s the beauty of the internets. And my coach, I had actually found life coaching and my coach introduced me to who would then become my coach, Carl Loha, who also had made the transition Harvard lawyer. You know, it was part of a feminist think tank on reproductive rights and decided it just wasn’t for her anymore.

She’s an incredible woman. And she was kind of like, you know, you could just make stuff up. and you just go do it, you make up a new thing and then you go do that thing that you made up. And I was like, wait, we make up things and we can do them. What right. So amazing. So I decided, okay, I’m gonna hang out with people.

I already like to spend time with like really intelligent women who are really snarky and funny and feminist leaning and like just really smart cookies who haven’t figured out their closets yet. Like, it’s something I would talk about with women in court all the time. I was having funny interactions all the time, in course, like, is this bra okay, can you wanna look?

Is it like, what do you think? So it was just a natural progression. Oh, okay. I can make this up. I can bring in coaching and style and these amazing women who are really changing the world in their own ways. And then we have this brain baby of style coaching. I was like, oh yeah, we make things up and we go do them.

Okay.

[00:07:10] Susanne: Love it.

[00:07:11] Judith: yeah.

[00:07:13] Missy: I wanna talk about that a little bit more because we originally invited you here to talk about style and wardrobe, which we absolutely want to because we. Need a lot of help. and I cleaned out my closet yesterday and got rid of a bunch of things. I know don’t work, but I am sure there are things in here that don’t work still.

And I’m not really sure what does work, but, so we wanted to get to that in a little while, but we were also binging your podcast and there’s so much more there as you mentioned, because you have created this career that is more than just style and fashion. And we just wanted to see if we could go through some of the shit my mama said and how.

Old beliefs are keeping us back. I lo I love it.

[00:07:56] Judith: let’s go there. I mean, it it’s incredible. And I feel so honored. I get chills thinking about it. I feel so privileged because women are sharing their stories with me. And I feel like that series on the podcast it’s called shit. My mama said is one client who is she’s like, we’re not dissing the matriarchy.

I’m like, no, no, that’s not what we’re, that’s not, we’re doing here. We’re just honoring. That there’s this weird tale that got woven into all of our histories, these rules about how we’re supposed to show up and behave in the world. And if we can start to talk about it, we can recognize similar stories in each other.

And then we get to rewrite them. We get to decide what part of like any fable, right? The truth nugget we wanna take. And then the rest of the scary, weird shit were the witch like eats children. Like we leave that behind right. So like, I think like, shit, my mom has said is a perfect opportunity to do that.

Like talk about these amazing nuggets. That are really funny and so painful sometimes and rewrite them or discard them, or just kind of giggle at them, but shedding light on them, as opposed to thinking that they’re absolute truth,

[00:08:58] Susanne: Are there any that are some of your favorites?

[00:09:00] Judith: Oh, my favorite is, um, I think it’s share unique.

I definitely recommend anyone go listen to this. Her mom was very adamant that she had to wear earrings and she had to carry a purse or she’s a street Walker. And I like don’t know the correlation, like mom’s no longer with us. So we can’t ask mom, like, what was this thought process? Like, have so many questions.

have so many questions.

[00:09:26] Susanne: Oh, my

[00:09:26] Missy: it’s so many, when that stuff is ingrained in you, it’s really hard to let it go. Like I just recently started wearing sleeveless things cuz I had. Thought my whole life, you reached an age where you no longer Worsely listening.

Like your arms were not suitable for the public and I’ve never loved my arms anyway.

So it was easy to buy into that. But then I, that, I don’t know where that came from. I

[00:09:50] Judith: Well, there’s that whole bit. Have you seen marvelous, Mrs. Maisel? I love that show. The fashion’s amazing. There’s that whole bit in the first episode or the first season where her mom looks at her arms and is like, basically telling her, like, there’s a shelf life. Like you only have a few more months left and she’s like, yes, absolutely wear a Ballero and they like both walk off.

They’ve just made this decision. And I was just like, oh my God, that’s it right there. Her mom said it without thinking there’s a shelf life on your arms. And she’s like, yes, absolutely. And then so on and so forth, like we, we, it’s sort of in the ether, these funny things, and my grandma was ripe with them.

Like she just, she had some zingers, like never reach into a man’s pocket. She’s

[00:10:26] Susanne: Oh,

[00:10:27] Judith: okay. Like

[00:10:28] Missy: okay. You never know what you’re gonna find in there.

[00:10:31] Judith: it’s like, okay, grandma.

[00:10:32] Susanne: Do you remember on the prices, right? When he used to, if you won the showcase showdown to get your a hundred dollars, you had to reach into Bob Barker’s pocket to get

[00:10:40] Missy: No, I’ve blocked that out, I guess.

[00:10:43] Susanne: You don’t remember that?

[00:10:45] Missy: no,

[00:10:46] Judith: amazing.

[00:10:48] Susanne: Oh my God. Okay. Did I just make that up in my

[00:10:51] Missy: I know we’re gonna have to do some prices right. Research after this, but I don’t remember.

[00:10:55] Susanne: swear, you had to reach into

[00:10:57] Judith: so fun. If it’s true.

[00:10:58] Susanne: a hundred dollars bill. okay. I need to look this up.

[00:11:02] Missy: Creepy.

[00:11:03] Susanne: I’m sorry.

[00:11:05] Judith: no, but I mean, this is the kind of funny stuff, right? I mean, I, we, we would do these, um, week long challenges and we’d ask the similar question. Like what’s a something your mom told you some style or confidence advice and the stuff we’d get is just funny but painful. We had one person who told us, her grandma told her she walked too big.

Her steps were too large.

[00:11:23] Susanne: Oh, my gosh.

[00:11:24] Judith: ladylike. So she had to shorten her steps behind you. She’s six foot tall. So I’m not sure I supposed, she’s supposed to shuffle her way in the world. Um, don’t wear red lipstick. You look like a whore. Don’t wear blue eyeshadow. You look like a whore. Um, I mean, just it’s a full range.

Your person, your shoes have to match. This is some benign stuff. Was there some weirdly painful, awful stuff in there as well. And.

[00:11:47] Susanne: I still have panty hose in that drawer over there, because that was just ingrained to me. And maybe that was the time growing up in the seventies and eighties like that. And I haven’t worn ’em in two decades, but that was just like, when you wore your dressy shoes, you were supposed to wear hose with them, which I don’t know if that’s gone.

And my mom always used to . Sorry, mom, giving away your secrets, but whenever we would, uh, get ready to go into the grocery store, like she would look in the rear of your mirror and put some lipstick on and she’d say, you never know her, and you’re gonna meet Mr. Wright and she in N Idaho in the grocery store.

And I’m sure she probably doesn’t even remember this, but it was just, and

[00:12:29] Missy: It’s like, you know, everybody in town is one of them suddenly going to be Mr. Wright,

[00:12:33] Susanne: know, but I never ever wear a lipstick and I’m sure. Kills her that well, yeah, occasionally I do, but only probably if she’s coming over just subconsciously, I’m like, well, grandma’s coming over. Better, better put on some lipstick.

[00:12:46] Judith: But I think that’s what I, that’s what I see. Actually, I love that you brought that up cuz I see the women who like will buy into it. Right? Like they make sure they have their handbag and their gold earrings and they never wear red lipstick eyeshadow. Or I have the clients who are like in rebellious acts against whatever the advice was.

They full in CADA. Like I will never wear makeup. I will never take care of myself or whatever the thing is in response to whatever. Their mother or, you know, their formative adult in their life was . It was just kind of funny to me, like to see both reactions.

[00:13:16] Missy: The psychology of that is really fun

[00:13:18] Judith: Oh, it’s so

[00:13:19] Susanne: we need to put.

[00:13:20] Missy: person’s gonna go with it.

[00:13:21] Susanne: Yeah, we need to put that in the Facebook group, ask people some of the funniest things that shit their mom has said. I , I love those. Oh, and well, speaking of moms, I would love to blame my style issues on the fact that I am a mom and the, you know, this idea of like being a stay at home.

Mom, you just kind of let yourself go. But I was a mess. Even before that I’ve found some old pictures before the kids were even around. I was like, I was always just kind of scruffy. I was just, I’m kind of a mess. Which is probably some bad negative self-talk that I should not say, but

[00:13:51] Missy: Yes.

[00:13:52] Susanne: but you know, becoming a stay-at-home mom did take it to the next level as far as needing to be comfortable.

And just this idea that no one’s gonna see me anyway. So why does it even matter? So how do we shift that mindset of not caring? What we look like? Just cuz no, one’s gonna see.

[00:14:10] Judith: Well, okay. Let’s just talk about that phrase, cuz what I hear so often, especially during the, the CS and a lot of people decided to work from home where we had our stay at home moms who were already home. And I think this is, you know, so interesting. You see you.

[00:14:27] Missy: Mmm.

[00:14:28] Susanne: oh,

[00:14:29] Judith: like, when did you stop mattering to that degree?

What? Like, so we ha like that, just changing that phrase. No one sees me. It doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna see anybody. Well, you see you darling, at some point, you’re gonna pass a mirror in your house.

[00:14:46] Missy: Yeah.

[00:14:47] Judith: you matter and it’s it’s, I don’t even like, you don’t have to get dressed in nines or you can, whatever works for you, but do you like the image you’re seeing in the mirror?

That’s the only opinion that matters.

[00:14:58] Susanne: huh?

[00:14:59] Missy: mean, I love it. Don’t, that’s our, like our, a lot of times in an episode, I’m like, oh, I want that on a pillow. You see you as what I want embroidered on the pillow, because it’s really important. And I do know that if I just do so much as. Kind of fix my eyebrows because they don’t exist without a little color on them.

Um, fix my eyebrows and do some mascara. I feel like a different person.

[00:15:21] Susanne: Mm-hmm

[00:15:22] Judith: It’s those little things for yourself. Like even I have clients who joke, like you smell you, not just that you see you, you also smell you

[00:15:29] Missy: true.

[00:15:30] Judith: if you’re chilling with kids a little, little, little deodorant, never little splash of perfume, if you’re into it. Right. But you are the one you should be most concerned with and it’s those little things, right?

Like coloring your eyebrows in a little mascara. So oftentimes when I work with clients, I just tell ’em pick one tiny thing and we’re just gonna work on that for a week. I think sometimes when we get caught up in the idea of a makeover, it’s like everything all at once. Cuz we were used to like eighties and nineties movie montages,

[00:15:56] Susanne: Mm, or Oprah special makeovers

[00:15:59] Judith: Yeah, right. You get a bra, you get a bra, like it starts small, like a little whisk of mascara, a little bit of perfume, if you’re so choose, maybe just combining your hair every day for a week. Like we don’t have to start big. We just start somewhere.

[00:16:15] Susanne: Mmm.

[00:16:16] Missy: Yeah. It’s a beautiful concept because it’s. I think it, when you look in your closet or you look, you wake up in the morning and you’re thinking I have to do the whole thing. That’s just one more thing on a to-do list. Especially when you have little kids, we have older kids and life is different, but when you have little kids, the thought of just, oh my gosh, I have to do all of this to get ready.

Just pick the one thing is great.

[00:16:40] Judith: One thing. And what I learned about coaching moms too, is y’all have stuff every. There’s like bathroom, number one that has item two, three, and then bathroom number two upstairs, somewhere that has items four, five, and six, and then there’s stuff in your car and then the other purse. And it’s just like, okay, how about we pick one thing?

We’re gonna work in it. We gather it to a place you will actually be for at least two minutes. Like , that’s just it. I love y’all, but I see it. I see it. There’s stuff everywhere.

[00:17:10] Missy: I dunno, you see us dying, laughing. It’s yeah, like I have, like, I have first deodorant and I have home deodorant and yeah. Mm-hmm

[00:17:20] Susanne: Oh my

[00:17:20] Missy: So, well, what. A mom is to that point where, um, or any woman, any person is saying, okay, now I’m going back to the workforce and I cannot get away with just the one thing, like just comb my hair or just brushing my teeth is not gonna be enough. I need to look presentable.

That’s really overwhelming. So how do they start that process with some confidence and not feeling like an imposter who really only wears yoga pants? They, how do they get there?

[00:17:48] Judith: Yeah, I think mindset first. Right? Cause I. I operate under the definition of style. It’s your thoughts and your feelings about yourself outwardly reflected. So we have to go into it with so much grace for yourself that there’s gonna be outfit fails. There’s gonna be hair fails.

There’s gonna be melted makeup fails because.

[00:18:07] Missy: mm-hmm

[00:18:08] Judith: We get hot and we sweat and we melt. Like we have to just have so much grace for ourselves in the process. If we’re going from yoga, pant wearing, or one client who walk around pantless I think her entire postpartum experience, like she just wore no pants. Why would she, she was like breastfeeding.

You could just lift up a shirt. It was not a thing. Right. So. God bless her. We were like wearing actual pants. So wherever

[00:18:33] Missy: must have been a huge adjustment.

[00:18:35] Judith: had questions, I was like, what happens if you’re on a zoom calling to get up? She’s like, you just kind of slink down. I’ll be back. Oh my God. It’s so good. So like, we just, we have tons of grace, right? This is gonna be a process. We’re gonna get it wrong sometimes. But here’s a beautiful news. You have more muscle memory than you’re giving yourself credit for at some point, if you were any kind of self-care something on your face, you will have some memory on how to get it done.

You aren’t starting from scratch. Please. Don’t tell yourselves this. Like all the humans probably did something with deodorant. You probably washed your face in some form or fashion. You probably slapped on some sunscreen. And like you have that memory. You just have to lean into that. You probably know more than you’re giving yourself credit for.

You probably do know how to put on your lipstick. If you did it before or wear mascara or you take YouTube, you know, few episodes figure it out. like really give yourself a lot more credit. You’re not starting from scratch everything. Hasn’t gone to shit. We, oh, I can. I curse. I’m

[00:19:45] Susanne: that’s fine. Go for it.

[00:19:48] Judith: sometimes you have just, yeah.

Anyway, like we can lean on some of that muscle memory and the things that you used to do. We just have to start doing them again. So what I recommend is first we get our mindset, right? We’re gonna have some fails. We probably know more than we’re giving ourselves credit for. And then just start timing yourself.

I guess it’s like the funny thing is I think we think 90 minutes is what’s required and there’s like a glam squad that has to show up. You can get a lot done in 10 minutes.

[00:20:15] Missy: Mm-hmm

[00:20:15] Judith: Now they have to be focused 10 minutes. That means like little humans and fur babies and and the podcast and checking your email and all the other things like we wanna put our phone down and we’re just concentrated 10 minutes concentrated.

Five minutes can actually get you pretty far. like that’s a one minute for your hair. One minute for moisturizing. One minute for mascara. One minute for clothes, one minute, take a deep breath and you can leave. We, it TA you are concentrated. You’re actually get a lot more done than you like might think so.

Yes, it can be overwhelming. Yes. We wanna love on you and acknowledge that if you really have not been wearing any pants, this might feel a little different, but it’s not impossible. It’s not insurmountable. And just start some.

[00:21:00] Missy: Yes.

[00:21:00] Susanne: I love that. Okay. Yeah. . so we record inside our closets. So we are literally surrounded by things that.

[00:21:09] Missy: mm-hmm

[00:21:09] Susanne: Either we wore once or we wore, you know, what I realized a skirt I have in here is I have had for at least 20 years I’ve and I wear, I still wear it.

It

[00:21:22] Judith: If you still wear it. Cool.

[00:21:23] Susanne: well, I shouldn’t still wear it. Cuz now it’s anyway. I wore it when we were in Belize, because it’s kind of obscene now. Like, I’m like, this is not what a 50 year old woman wears, but a 50 year old woman in Belize can wear it. But, yes, there’s things

[00:21:41] Missy: that’s vacation.

[00:21:42] Susanne: that is vacation Suzanne, but yeah, either we’ve never worn ’em or we wore them.

20 years ago and probably should go ahead and treat ourselves to a new one, but I have such an issue with sunk costs. I’m I’m trying to get over saying I am cheap. I am frugal. Um, I am cost conscious. And so yeah, if there’s a pair of pants that I bought that don’t fit anymore, or some of these $70 bras that don’t fit anymore.

what are your thoughts about like, just accepting that those are not gonna fit again and move on or do you put them in a little hope chest for maybe a, you give yourself a certain amount of time. Um, and then see if they fit. I, I keep on convincing myself. I shouldn’t go by a bunch of new stuff that fits my body properly cuz I’m gonna COVID myself.

But. But I don’t know that I actually have the patients or desire to COVID myself. So I don’t know. Part of me is like, if I, if I buy all these clothes, then I’m just gonna stay. Where I am be because, because they fit and I’m too cheap to like, I don’t even wanna lose weight because then, then my new, my new, bigger clothes won’t fit.

So I just, I’ve got all kinds of mind mess and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s doing this with COVID who, you know, whether it’s five 20, whatever pounds. I don’t know. There’s a difference between loving your body as it is. And knowing that. This body is a reminder of like the trauma and drama of the past two years.

Like this is not, this is not who I was. This is who I let myself be because I was locked up and comforting myself with, lots of Chardonnay and chocolate chips by the handful. So I don’t know. What, what do you, what do you say to people like.

[00:23:32] Judith: Oh, um, there there’s so much. Okay. So I’m gonna just pull one thread and then we can circle back to other things. And hopefully we cover the gambit, but we have 30 minutes. Let’s roll. Okay. So the, the first thing I wanna say is we hear media fallacy that we were all required to have some sort of glow up while in our houses.

We were supposed to like hunker down and then open the doors and the fans were supposed to cue. We were supposed to come out sexier and healthier and fitter or something while we were also fighting for our lives and making sure none of us died. So it’s just such a strange requirement of a modern humans.

And none of us were equipped for that. And then the weird messaging came in.

[00:24:14] Missy: mm-hmm

[00:24:15] Judith: Let’s just kind of look at how funny that is. On the one hand we were told survive, fight for your lives, hunker down, literally shelter in places, the language being used, but while you’re sheltering, make sure you’re still doing all the booty things and you’re dieting and you’re buffing out and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Well, also all the beauty things that you relied on are not gonna be available to you. So you’re gonna have to figure out how to do your hair, how to wax your business, all the things. Right. I, I just such a funny thing to tell us. And then of course, no wonder why we all sort of feel shame and guilt as we peer outside our houses and look around and be like, are we allowed to come out again?

Oh shit. I didn’t have the thing I was supposed to have. I wasn’t supposed, I had supposed to have this makeover and open the door. And I just like, if we just removed that expectation. Like we literally survived. We came out with our lives after sheltering in place. How beautiful and amazing that is. And like give again, grace, this comes back to a lot of grace is a conversation with my clients all the time.

You were never supposed to have a glow up or a makeover while you were sheltering in place. Like, that’s just, just a crazy thing to tell each other.

[00:25:21] Missy: Yeah.

[00:25:22] Susanne: Especially while we’re comfort making loaves of bread by the dozen

[00:25:27] Missy: And I mean, the media messages were bafflingly confusing because it is bread recipe. And what was that crazy coffee? That was basically just

[00:25:37] Judith: that frothy coffee thing, we were supposed to all be partaking in.

[00:25:40] Missy: Yes. And it was like one thing after another, at food based because we were comforting ourselves. But also why aren’t you pumping iron and

[00:25:48] Judith: Yeah, like Stanley CHCI making cocktails. We’re all like, oh, we make cocktails. Now we do this again. Right? Like he was so sexy. Stanley Tuchi is

[00:25:55] Missy: Oh my God Stanley making cocktails is

[00:25:58] Judith: there? Right.

[00:25:59] Missy: yes. We will link to that in the show notes. If you

[00:26:02] Judith: feeling me. I love it.

[00:26:04] Susanne: I have not seen this

[00:26:06] Missy: my God. Yeah, if you didn’t know that Stanley Tuchi was the sexiest man alive, you will, after you watch him make

[00:26:12] Susanne: oh my goodness. Okay.

[00:26:15] Judith: And like, I mean, but that’s what we were doing, right? Like this just such a funny, weird, mixed messaging. We’re not supposed to dye our hair anymore. And like, all of us are supposed to go gray, which I’m naturally going white and I’m totally cool with it, but a lot of women were not prepared for that.

And then now they’re supposed to go back and meet other humans and they’re just not ready. Whatever their idea of ready is. So. I should give ourselves, cut ourselves some slack. just really, that’s the first thing I would say the other bit about what do we do with the clothes that don’t fit us? Cuz I think that’s just a natural, normal, next question.

Like we know they don’t fit, but they’re kind of these weird heaps of shame, piles all over our closets. And then some of us have TA traveling closets or we have things from 20 decades ago or two decades ago. So what I just recommend is we don’t have to get rid of. Not we have enough trauma we’ve suffered.

We don’t need to like pull your clothes, your deer clothes away from you. If you’re not ready to get rid of them, get rid of them, but remove them from your line of sight. So we don’t need to go to our closet every morning or open our drawers every morning and have to make 500 no’s before we get to a yes.

like decision fatigue is a real thing. It’s a real phenomena. And for your, your moms, your humans who care for the other humans y’all have enough decisions to make without having to rifle through 500 million options that don’t fit you. So, and I think that’s the first layer of any closet cleanup is we’re just gonna remove from your line of sight clothing that doesn’t fit you.

That’s just an easy way to slim the herd, so to speak.

[00:27:41] Susanne: Yes. No

[00:27:42] Judith: you both nodding. So I just

[00:27:43] Susanne: no pun intended.

[00:27:45] Judith: taken a chance.

[00:27:46] Missy: yeah. I did. I mean, I did that yesterday. And Suzanne and I are in a group text and I, there were parts in my closet. I had said, I’m not feeling ruthless today. I don’t feel strong enough to do that today. But I went through and pulled the things that didn’t fit. Like there are things that I know do not fit.

That don’t work on me. They don’t make me feel good. Maybe they once did some of them never did. I pulled those out and I went ahead and just got rid of them today. So I didn’t have to think about it, but I really liked the idea of just putting them somewhere else in another closet, in a hope chest and it like, whatever it is, set them somewhere else.

And that gives you a chance to go back and think about it a little bit longer.

[00:28:27] Judith: Yeah. And I tell my clients like, oh, I love the idea of a hope trust. I’m totally gonna steal that, but I tell ’em, you know, good luck museum archive. These are things we wanna go back to. If we can’t be bothered to store them properly, we really probably don’t want. So, if you can’t be bothered to like actually launder the thing before you stick it in some sort of box or bucket somewhere like you probably, we could get rid of this thing.

And then there’s a second layer that I think is so important for particularly stay at home. Humans, stay at home. Moms is lifestyle pairing down. So if you don’t go to an office anymore, you probably don’t need your wool suits from the nineties. I love, I mean, I love a good wool suit from the nineties.

That pin Stripe is amazing,

[00:29:06] Missy: oh, I had a blue one.

[00:29:08] Judith: Right, right. We’re so recognizable, but you probably aren’t gonna wear it again. And even if you did go back to an office, likely you’re not going to wear that woo suit from the nineties again.

[00:29:17] Missy: no.

[00:29:18] Judith: So what is your lifestyle re like, what does it want from you? What does it need from you?

If we actually do yoga, maybe we need the best damn yoga pants we can find. Maybe if we do live in t-shirts, let’s just find you the best damn t-shirt possible for you. If you do live in sneakers now, because a lot of my clients live in sneakers now, especially like after their feet have come accustomed to not being in pain 24 7, like let’s find you.

Stylish ass, like French Parisian, crazy ass sneakers, like whatever you want, boo, whatever your lifestyle requires. So we set you up to live a life that’s stylish and comfortable because we can do both now. And I think that’s a beautiful lesson from, COVID is we all realize, oh wait. We could actually be comfortable in our clothing like this, this pain and beauty is pain nonsense.

Like it’s just not required. So the first layer I think, is for fit, like, does it fit your body? And then the second layer is, does it fit your lifestyle? Whatever remains. We can see what outfits we can put together with it. Or we go buy some stuff to fill in the gaps because there’s obvious holes now because we thought we had more than we actually did, because most of it was stuff that we didn’t even.

[00:30:27] Missy: Right. And I like this concept, if not, I’m really bad about aspirational buying. So I’ll see something and I’m like, I will now have this thing for when I go to this kind of event. By the way I don’t go to, I have things for like yachting off the Cape. You know, I don’t do that, like, but I have this idea that I will.

And so this idea of dressing for your lifestyle is lovely. And I want like, I’m writing that down as well, because we really need to think about that. But what if. You don’t actually know who you are and you don’t know what your lifestyle is quite yet. And you are coming out of two and a half years of COVID and you’re like, well, what the hell?

What, what do I need to wear? How do you even start figuring that out?

[00:31:10] Judith: Yeah. I, I say spend three days kind of doing a little bit of an audit, so to speak. That sounds so. But just kind of monitoring. How do you spend your time the three busiest days of your week? So, you know, let’s take Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, or if your weekends are crazy because you’re Harding humans around to the different activities or whatever your busiest three days, I want you to just check in what are we doing those three days?

Who are we meeting with? Who are we secretly worried is gonna see us wearing what we’re currently wearing. Right. When we are doing that drop off, are we. Fuck. There’s Margie. Hi Margie. And you’re like in your crazy ass outfit, like, are we avoiding Margie? Like, and obviously

[00:31:48] Missy: Margie, meanwhile looks perfect every time. Yeah.

[00:31:50] Judith: Margie’s always coy. Fuck Margie. Right? Like whatever it is for you, we wanna just make sure, like, you’re factoring that in you. You probably have more personal style than you think, because style is personal. So, what are you thinking? What are you feeling that’s gonna be outwardly reflected now you might not like what’s outwardly reflected, but that means we gotta do some internal work, as well as buying you new clothes and figuring out things.

But the best favor you can do is like, how am I actually living my life? How can I support myself? Best

[00:32:20] Missy: Right.

[00:32:21] Judith: clothes shopping from that place is a, just a very different experience.

[00:32:24] Missy: Very

[00:32:25] Susanne: Yeah. And okay. So how do you, like, I’m thinking of it as like a kitchen remodel, and I know this is not like a full makeover, but as far as like, do you make a little vision board? Like, should you get some magazines or some, it wouldn’t be J crew catalogs anymore. Talbots

[00:32:42] Missy: No still Jay

[00:32:43] Susanne: where are we shopping now?

But

[00:32:46] Missy: we are not Al’s yet.

[00:32:48] Susanne: I mean, so for someone it’s so funny, I, once upon a time I wanted to be a fashion designer too, which I think is so funny. If you were to look at me on any given day, be like, what? but how do you even figure out what pieces go together and stuff? Is it Instagram? Do you have any accounts that you like for Instagram or Pinterest

[00:33:07] Judith: Oh, my there’s

[00:33:08] Susanne: ideas?

[00:33:09] Judith: tons, but here’s what I will just say. Start with like actually figuring out what size you are. The fit part really is super important because we could do all this dream shopping and then. We’re not actually looking at bodies that actually look like ours. Does it require us to pay a little bit more attention to ourselves, but let’s assume you’ve done that part.

You actually start looking at yourself in the mirror. You have a sense of what your actual size is, not what you hope it to be, what it actually is. We factor in what your lifestyle is, where we’re going, who we’re encountering. Then take that to Pinterest. So we’re gonna look at for some of us we’re newly plus sized, and you’re gonna look at some larger sized humans than you otherwise would have, and start to dream with like a diverse set of bodies and shapes and sizes and ages.

And maybe some people with white hair and gray hair who are older, who are actually in their forties, but have gone white, like whatever the case is. So we, we want to color your palette a little bit. If you decide to make a mood board, if you’re into it, some folks aren’t into it and you just go to the plate lady at Nordstroms and you tell.

This is my size. This is what I’m looking for. Help a girl out. I have people obviously who hire me for that kind of thing, but really, really, I do recommend if you’re gonna go down like looking at other people’s accounts and making sure your visual diet is diverse, otherwise you’re gonna just drive yourself crazy and perhaps end up where you started because you think you should be something other than you are.

[00:34:32] Missy: right,

[00:34:33] Susanne: That is a very important reminder.

[00:34:35] Missy: Yeah. I’m drawn to the clothes that the tall skinny waves wear. Things. I have never been, never been tall, skinny, wavy. Like that’s not me. So I have to learn. And as I age that, yeah, that looks beautiful on her, but it’s not going to fit me.

[00:34:50] Judith: Yeah. So I like, I find an actress who fits more of your profile. Right. See, literally type into Pinterest, like Mindy cowing style, Melissa McCarthy’s style, like

[00:35:00] Missy: mm-hmm.

[00:35:01] Judith: type those things in, see what they’re wearing. I get a lot of requests for Jennifer Anderson and I’m like, You know, the woman wears like boyfriend jeans and tank tops and long cardigans.

Like that’s her style? Like, is that really, what is it that we’re attracted to? Oh, I used to like her and friends. Okay. Well, she doesn’t actually dress like Rachel and friends is not actually how we see her on the street. So, but

like, if there’s a

show you would. Right. Yeah. It’s fine to show you. Like, I got a lot of Olivia Pope re requests back in the day when that show was like at its height and we just like Olivia Pope.

So what is it about Olivia Pope that we’re attracted to? Was it the soft colors? Was it that were like living in a Nora Efron film, but like the TV show like?

[00:35:39] Missy: edgy.

[00:35:40] Judith: Right. What are, what are we attracted to here, while always factoring in your actual body that you inhabit and your actual lifestyle. Cause if you’re not gonna be having these high powered meetings, maybe you don’t need to be Olivia Pope all the time.

[00:35:55] Missy: right.

[00:35:55] Susanne: that’s a good point. can you imagine us show enough to where our podcast in our closets, all Olivia poked out.

[00:36:03] Missy: Well, and have you seen, I’ve seen over and over again, especially since the pandemic, it’s like a, it’s like a TikTok trend, but where people say sometimes I wanna be this, but sometimes I wanna be this. And then sometimes I wanna be this. And then they’re showing all these different fashions and styles and it’s like, sometimes we wanna be a coastal grandma and sometimes we wanna be Olivia Pope and sometimes you wanna be the yoga queen and sometimes you wanna be the disco queen and like, it’s hard sometimes to narrow down all that noise in your head and what really works for your life.

Like, I don’t need any disco clothes.

[00:36:35] Judith: Yeah. Well, and I think that goes back to shit. My mom has said right back in the day, it used to be, you were a category, you were classic, you were Bohemian. You were whatever the fuck people were saying back in the day. Right. So we think we are one thing. Whereas I think now we’re you, we have a whole generation of people who are coming up.

We’re like, well, sometimes on this, sometimes on that, sometimes I’m a mix of all and I don’t know what’s happening every day. Like, so. There’s so much room to play. We can let this be fun again. It does not have to be this arduous serious thing that we like plan like a kitchen remodel. That just sounds daunting.

Oh my God.

[00:37:08] Missy: It sounds really

[00:37:09] Susanne: sorry. That was planning a kitchen Mo model. Sounds like a breeze compared to going clothes shopping for me, honestly, like. Uh,

[00:37:16] Missy: Dile any day

[00:37:17] Susanne: yeah, I could do 10 pitches before I could pick out an outfit. So yeah. That’s oh, okay. But no, I love. And I do think a lot of us are probably stuck or maybe not giving it ourselves permission to play or try out some of those things or do something that feels like us, but also feels like it’s breaking some rule.

That’s like burned into our brains from, you know, who knows when in our childhood. So I, I do think that is nice to give that permission to play and to try and explore. So.

[00:37:48] Missy: and that it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to go. Oh, well that, that did not look good. I’m not going to do that again.

[00:37:54] Judith: yeah. Like, oh, I sweated right through that shirt. That is not an outside shirt. Oh, got it. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

[00:38:00] Susanne: Yeah. We, we know that in Texas.

[00:38:03] Missy: sweat through all the shirts. There are no outside clothes right now.

[00:38:06] Susanne: Yeah. What, what do you do when you have to change your shirt? Four times a day?

[00:38:10] Missy: We really have done so much laundry because you can’t like, I typically rewear things if I didn’t sweat in them then,

[00:38:17] Susanne: Not this

[00:38:18] Missy: I didn’t wear for very long. I air it out and I wear it again. yeah, there’s no such thing. I mean, the kids wear easily four outfits a day. it’s gross.

[00:38:28] Judith: Well, it’s just weird creatures. Like humans are such strange creatures. And like, I think if we get that idea in our heads and minds, like just really, like, we are growth, we creep fluid. Like we are creepy and we’re all just like, you’re creepy too. Oh, you’re leaking your body’s leaking. My body’s leaking.

Like, we’d all have an easier time than like somehow we’re not allowed to leak fluids cuz that’s what we do naturally. But I think it’s, you know, the generation of like, you know, wearing the, um, under arm pads under, have you seen. The sticky, the under arm guards and the sweat guards. And we’re not allowed to, you know, we’re allowed to sweat.

Like that whole idea is

[00:39:06] Missy: Women only listen.

[00:39:07] Judith: We glisten right. Spitz sing, right? No, like we’re leaking, we’re leaking, like all the other humans, we just cut ourselves in slack. It’ll be alright.

[00:39:16] Susanne: Especially during menopause. Oh my gosh.

[00:39:18] Missy: Yeah.

[00:39:19] Susanne: Okay. Well, you know what, I’m feeling inspired because I have been looking at this closet. And everything is old. Everything’s old because we did not go shopping in the past two years. Chances are, but there are things I’m. I am. Fearful that like, I’m gonna be six months down the road and be like, oh, where’d that sweater go?

Or, oh, where’d that? Whatever go. So I think I am, I’m gonna the stuff that is worth my time to pack up and put away somewhere and give myself kind of this timeline of like, and again, this isn’t necessarily trying to achieve a certain look or whatever. I have like serious cholesterol problems and stuff that. Medically, I am trying to address, uh, getting some better habits, eating wise and stuff, which I just think will naturally hopefully end up in me fitting into some of these pants again, someday. but if I can get my cholesterol down and not fit into those pants, I’ll be perfectly happy being in the pants that do fit.

So I feel better about that, but just not knowing, I don’t know what that’s gonna end up doing. If you know, if I’m Addressing my health issues that I need to what that is gonna end up doing physically. There’s a good chance. I’ll still look like this, but with lower cholesterol and that I need to be able to work from there, but it is kind of this weird beginning process

so.

[00:40:35] Missy: I feel like you deserve to leave. If you achieve your health goals, if you get your cholesterol numbers where they are, no matter what the outside looks like, you deserve to have a pair of pants that fits perfectly and you rock in that low cholesterol body, whatever that body

[00:40:50] Susanne: Yes, that is my goal. My goal is cholesterol. Number one, and then just, it’ll be a fun surprise to see what the rest of me looks like after that.

[00:40:59] Missy: Yeah.

[00:41:00] Judith: find you’re more, you’re more likely to stick to whatever your health goals are or whatever those health outcomes you’re reaching for. If you’re en clothing that is comfortable and that actually fits you, it’s such a miserable experience to be in pants that are so tight and panties that, you know, keep falling in your belly, droops over them.

And then to. From that place that very physically uncomfortable place to be like, okay, now go eat healthy and take your medication. You you’re, you’re already kind of like in fuck mode. You don’t feel good about yourself and you’re physically uncomfortable. And now you’re telling yourself you have to go do these other things that are also likewise uncomfortable and.

So why don’t we, we can, we can fix the physicality part, right? We can wear clothes that properly fit while sorting out the other things that are gonna be uncomfortable, like new lifestyle choices, new, you know, diet regimens or whatever the case that is required of us. We’re more likely to follow through if we’re physically comfortable.

[00:41:51] Susanne: good reminder. I love that. Oh, my gosh. I think there’s gonna be a lot of people that want to learn more about you and hear more

[00:41:59] Missy: to say. Yeah,

[00:42:01] Susanne: and, uh, figure out more how to work with you and stuff. So what is the best way for listeners to, follow up with you and learn more?

[00:42:08] Judith: Yeah. So I have a podcast, um, highly bingeable. Their episodes are about

10

[00:42:12] Susanne: So good.

[00:42:14] Judith: Thank you. So yeah, you can check me out there and kind of enter my world that way. Um, style masterclass podcast, or you could just visit Amway website, Judith gaton.com and click on the work with me button to find out more how to work.

[00:42:27] Missy: Fantastic. I think I might get you to help me figure out, like buy some new clothes. I don’t know what to buy. I think I don’t desperately need anything right now, but I want my next purchases to really matter. So

I think

[00:42:40] Judith: And it’s about a process like we teach, we, we have a pro methodology that sort of builds on itself and we, we do start with your brass and undies to make sure that’s locked. Solid. So like, and whatever knowledge you gain, you can take to your 16 year olds and make sure they’re wearing the right bras as well.

And then we clean out your closet, the first round for. And then we talk about your personal style statements. We help you define your personal style, and then we teach you how to put together outfits so that like the knowledge builds on itself. By the time you’re done, you should be able to walk into your closet.

Everything fits you. You should put together an outfit in less time, and then you can roll and go about your business and your life and the things that you’re creating or doing it should not be a whole thing. I don’t want that for any person.

[00:43:24] Missy: right.

[00:43:26] Susanne: That just like my whole, I just went, ah, that just feels relaxing. Even just the thought of that, especially like you said, decision fatigue, not having to deal with that. Every time you walk into your closet, love it.

[00:43:37] Missy: yes. I wanna just grab clothes and I know that they’re going to work and instead of putting them on it being like, oh my God, I forgot this doesn’t fit.

[00:43:46] Judith: And then you’re already hot and sweaty and you know, you just added compounds the compounds. Yeah.

[00:43:50] Susanne: Yes.

[00:43:51] Missy: I got rid of a shirt yesterday that I tried to wear all the time. And every time I stuck my arms in it, I would get very mad because it was too tight through here. And I’m like, why is it still here?

[00:44:01] Susanne: Like

[00:44:01] Missy: doesn’t, it doesn’t get to live here anymore. It makes me mad every time and sweaty.

[00:44:05] Susanne: You wouldn’t keep a friend around that made you that angry or anything else that made you that angry?

[00:44:10] Missy: And it was just a, it was a white button down. I’m like, I will get a new white button down that does not hurt my feelings every time I can do that at the

[00:44:17] Judith: Exactly all and all the clothes are auditioning for you. Every single item’s auditioning for you, you are not auditioning for the clothing. I think that’s how we were taught. It’s the opposite. So sometimes things are just like, we’re gonna go in a different direction. You no longer work for us. We had a whole different vision for this.

You don’t fit within that vision. Like it’s just so much easier to get rid of things from that paradigm of like, no, no, the belts are auditioning for me. The pants are auditioning for me. Some things are not gonna make the audition and means nothing about me.

[00:44:46] Susanne: what a great way to look at it. Okay. I just let that’s my that’s my learn from my look, listen and learn.

[00:44:52] Missy: I know, I know I’ve been too hot to learn anything. So now I have learned some things today with speaking of look, listen, and learns. it’s about time and anyone who’s listening for the first time, we’re really glad you’re here. And every week we try to do just a few minutes of things. We’re watching, reading, listening to whatever it is.

And sometimes they’re fun and sometimes they’re serious and sometimes they’re really helpful. And sometimes you’re like, I don’t even wear lipstick. So why are you telling me that? We don’t like to put our guests in the hot seat. And so Suzanne is gonna go first. What are you look, listening and learning this week?

[00:45:23] Susanne: Okay. And I know we are tied on time. We need to get you to your dentist appointment. So I’ll, I’ll talk so fast, but I’m looking at this show called bear, or is it called the bear?

[00:45:33] Missy: maybe the bear.

[00:45:34] Susanne: Okay. Well, it is it’s on Hulu. It’s got bear in it. And so it’s about this dude. His name is Cari. I think it’s Carmine or something, but Cari for short.

And he’s this chef from, they just keep on calling it the best restaurant in the world. So I don’t know, whatever one of those super fancy, fancy one, I think it was probably in New York, but he has to come home to Chicago to run this family sandwich shop after his brother’s death. And. I gotta just tell you all the trigger warnings.

I seriously, that first episode, I don’t think I exhaled more than once. Like it’s like a breath holder, just,

[00:46:11] Missy: Okay. Good to.

[00:46:12] Susanne: it’s just, it’s all in the part of this kitchen. So if you watch a who’s the mean chef guy who yells at people all the time.

[00:46:18] Missy: Oh, Gordon, Gordon

[00:46:20] Susanne: a, it is a very yellowy, it’s a very yellowy, tight space. It feels hot.

Like, and there’s this guy who plays this character, Richie, the actor I’ve never heard of him before eon Moss spoke. Boat shred, I think. and he should win every award in the world cuz I just wanna punch him in the face like a hundred times so I, it seriously was almost a dare to watch the second episode after the first one.

We’ve paired it, um, with your look from a couple weeks ago, which was Julia, uh, Missy. So it’s very, it’s a very food themed , uh, evening. And it’s like the nice Julia warm comforting hug at the end because this show is just. Whew. It’s just, I could never work. I don’t think in a kitchen, it makes you really want to go hug anyone who’s ever made you a nice dinner at a restaurant, if that’s anything like reality.

but we’re on episode four now and it’s finally like calming down. So if anybody watches episode one, you’re like, no, like it does, it does eventually calm down so we will

[00:47:20] Missy: Okay.

[00:47:21] Susanne: um, let’s see. And I am listening and learning to one of my OG podcasts. Pivot by Jenny Blake, who I just love and epi. So 2 81 gave me a new learning or a frame of reference about anybody who’s have an imposter syndrome about not being an expert or not knowing enough about something.

And she brought up this term, the qualified curator. So instead of being an expert and I’ve discovered as I was listening to this episode, I was like, this is what’s holding me back on writing my book because I feel like I’m not the expert. Who am I to say, blah, blah, blah, blah. Where if this idea of the qualified curators, like here, I’m in the same situation you are, I may not be the expert, but I have read all these things and I’ve learned all these things and here’s where you can learn more about them.

So I’m shifting my mindset. From, I need to be an expert to just, I’m curious. And one of her main points is people who are the most curious are the most at risk for imposter syndrome, because they do realize how many things they don’t know, because they always wanna know new things. Um, so I just wanted to throw that out there for anybody else who maybe is suffering from imposter syndrome.

It might just be because you’re just especially curious and smart. So yeah, you’re not an imposter. You’re just curious.

[00:48:39] Missy: That’s awesome.

[00:48:39] Susanne: about you? Judith?

[00:48:42] Judith: Yeah. So I am re this is so nerdy. I’m so embarrassed, but I

[00:48:48] Susanne: we have no ju no judgment zone.

[00:48:51] Judith: I’m rewatching, all of star Trek. I’m a

[00:48:53] Susanne: Oh, I love it.

[00:48:55] Judith: So I like looked online. I was like, how do you watch it chronologically? Because now there’s like different universes. So, so I found this thing that tells you how to watch it chronologically within the star Trek universe. So I’ve made my way through the first, like a lot.

I watched the pilot, the menagerie, if you know anything about truck, Nerdiness like, so I met him heading my way to the newer, stuff that just O like started. Um, and then I’ll make my way back to the original series. It’s a whole thing.

[00:49:26] Susanne: Oh,

[00:49:26] Missy: So

I was going to ask that original, like 60 series. You don’t watch that first.

[00:49:31] Judith: no, technically you don’t watch that first. Well, you watch the pilot, the menagerie, and then you go back to watching the first two seasons of discovery. And then you get to watch, I think, episodes of strange new worlds. And then you head over to the original series with like yeah. The like the sixties version, and then you get thrown back to different episodes in different places.

It’s oh, totally nerdy. It’s very exciting.

[00:50:00] Susanne: Oh, that’s so cool. Okay. Now, is there a special place where you found the list like that we could link to for other people who wanna do

[00:50:07] Judith: I will try and fi it’s on my phone. So I. I is it den of geek? I think it might be on den of geek.

Yeah.

[00:50:15] Susanne: Well, yeah, just shoot us the link and we’ll put it in the show notes.

[00:50:18] Judith: yeah.

[00:50:18] Missy: I used to watch that original 60 series with my uncle and I always loved, and I loved some of those movies, but I haven’t done any of the newer stuff. So I kind of would like to go

[00:50:27] Judith: I say dive it’s it’s like it’s lighthearted. It’s cheesy. Like, and everything gets wrapped up in a neat bow by the end of the episode, which I just could use some of that right now. So.

[00:50:39] Missy: all need that.

[00:50:40] Judith: Yeah. And then listening to, it’s an old 1940s radio program called Boston Blackie. I love listening to 1940s, um, mystery detective shows.

Um, and it’s literally just a podcast with every episode of Boston Blackie. they’re really cheesy. The sound effects are awful. Um, sometimes they’re cringy because they’re super misogynistic that like, so they’re laughable.

[00:51:03] Susanne: oh, no.

[00:51:04] Judith: But it’s like a guilty pleasure. And I like to listen to it while I do my hair.

And then, you know, like the beating each other up and there’s like a scuffle and it’s just like, that’s the best ever.

[00:51:13] Susanne: cool.

[00:51:14] Missy: Okay. That is two things that I would never have thought of. And I’m excited to add to the list.

[00:51:19] Judith: What about you, Missy?

[00:51:20] Missy: Um, we are watching loot on apple TV. It’s the new Maya Rudolph show and I’ll watch anything with Maya Rudolph in anything. I think she’s amazing. loot is very cute and kind of. It is kind of light and funny, although it’s a serious, like her husband cheats on her and they get divorced, but they happen to be like rich, rich, rich.

And so she has this money and it’s what she goes and does with this money. And she goes and starts doing good after having been very self-absorbed. and I thought it was a great one to share today because her clothes, oh, my. Her clothes in this show. I want everything, even though there are things, I look at it and go, that’s not my style and that certainly not my life. Um, but oh, her clothes are amazing. So

[00:52:06] Susanne: she on a yacht?

[00:52:07] Missy: she, she is on the, the first episode. There is the biggest yacht you’ve ever seen. so. Um, so it’s great. I, it’s fun to watch easy show. and then I’m not really learning anything because it is so flipping hot, but I learned so much today. So

[00:52:25] Susanne: we have not learned since like, may, I don’t think

[00:52:29] Missy: No, no. I feel like I do feel like I’m just doing, does that make sense? Like, I am just doing things right now, checking things off lists and getting things done and all my different volunteer jobs have been really busy. And, um, so I’m probably learning stuff in the process and I just don’t even know it yet.

[00:52:44] Susanne: I bet you are.

[00:52:45] Missy: Yeah. We’ll see.

[00:52:46] Susanne: You learned stuff today?

[00:52:48] Missy: I learned so much today. Like I took notes. I love it when I take notes in an episode and I feel inspir.

[00:52:53] Judith: Good.

[00:52:54] Missy: All right.

[00:52:55] Susanne: Oh my gosh. We did it.

[00:52:56] Missy: We did it

[00:52:57] Susanne: We’re so good.

[00:52:58] Missy: two minutes spare.

[00:53:00] Susanne: oh my gosh. I feel super inspired.

[00:53:04] Missy: I do. And I feel like Judith, you need to come back. I

[00:53:07] Judith: Anytime. This was fun. This was so much fun.

[00:53:10] Susanne: we should have like a deadline where we’re gonna report back and tell you what happened. Like, I feel like I need to do a before picture of this. Like, I can be like a little project and like,

[00:53:22] Judith: Well, I would love that idea. And then just like, kind of notice what comes up for you and then we can chat about it because I’m sure your listeners are like, okay, I’m gonna go clean out the thing. And then their thing, things come up, like sunk costs, which we didn’t touch upon, but we can in future.

Totally. So,

[00:53:39] Susanne: Okay. You know, I feel like maybe that’s, we can do some little videos in our Facebook group of just like walking through the process and like what’s going through my head and stuff because it is, I kind of, I’m not realizing what. what baggage is associated with it, whether there’s something like the skirt I keep for memories, cuz it was on my honeymoon.

like, can I still wear in Belize? or the things that like I splurge for a really expensive pair of pants and now they don’t fit anymore. And like that messes with your mind and there’s just a lot.

[00:54:10] Judith: Well, it, it, I think too, like there’s, oh my God. There’s so much. We could go in there. Like the, the, the little feminist theory I’m gonna drop, but like, In terms of how women are taught about money versus how men are taught about money. Men are taught to make investment. So those pants were investment pants.

Whereas women are taught not to be frivolous and not by lattes. So no wonder why, when you think about your black pants, you’re not thinking they were an investment for that event. Your brain is like, oh fuck. I’ve wasted money, blah, blah, blah.

[00:54:35] Susanne: Oh, yeah. And the way I, my husband’s able to just donate stuff that is like, oh yeah, I just don’t like it anymore. And I seriously, I will keep ’em. I don’t know why I take them out of the bag and I hang them up on my side, cuz I’m like, that was a nice hoodie. I could wear that hoodie, like maybe five sizes too big, but oh my God, I need like five episodes.

Okay. I need to let, I need to let Missy go to the dentist

[00:54:59] Missy: I gotta

[00:55:00] Judith: Have fun at the dentist.

[00:55:01] Missy: Oh,

[00:55:02] Susanne: my gosh, this is obviously y’all to be

[00:55:05] Missy: to meet you. Yes. And we will be

[00:55:07] Judith: likewise. Nice to meet you both. And

[00:55:09] Missy: Bye y’all

[00:55:10] Judith: touch soon. We’ll pick another day. Bye

[00:55:12] Missy: Okay. Sounds good. Bye.

[00:55:14] Susanne: bye.