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Summary

In this episode, Susanne & Missy sit down with Keely Pierce to discuss the challenges of finding balance in parenthood and navigating the journey of matrescence. They explore various aspects of this transformative phase, including identity, relationships, body changes, and emotional well-being.

Due to Missy’s health considerations (discussed in the pod) and Susanne’s continued ramp up at work, I (Susanne) decided to let AI take a whirl with our show notes this week. Are they kinda weird? Maybe! Was it super fast? Yes! Do y’all even read them? We’ll never know!

About Keely Pierce

Our guest this week is Keely Pierce, a coach and founder of the “I am More Academy.”  With a relatable approach and a touch of humor, she guides families through transitions, nurturing strong connections, trust, and effective communication. At “I am More Academy,” workshops create a safe space for students to be heard, inspired, and equipped with the skills for making informed life choices. Keely is a ‘Business Mum of the Year Small Business Award’ nominee, and joins us today from her home in England. 

Connect with Keely at her website and social channels which you can find here.

Keely & nephew, Baby Jack, who was patient enough to wait until after our recording to be born.

Introduction

The episode begins with a reflection on the evolving roles of parents in today’s world. Keely highlights the importance of balance and dispels the myth that it must always be a perfect 50/50 split.. The concept of different seasons in life is introduced, emphasizing the flexibility required to adjust the balance as circumstances change.

Common Struggles in Parenthood

• Susanne & Missy ask Keely about common threads in her clients’ struggles.
• Keely emphasizes that everyone’s chaos and challenges are unique.
• Keely discusses the concept of matrescence, a scientific term for the transition into motherhood, and its four pillars: identity, relationships, body changes, and emotional well-being.
• The hosts express their agreement with the significance of addressing one’s identity during this transformative phase.

Navigating Identity

• Keely shares her personal experience of feeling lost in her identity after becoming a mother.
• Keely describes the importance of recognizing and embracing one’s true identity and interests, even if they differ from societal expectations.
• Keely also reveals her strategy of allocating a “wifey wage” to regain a sense of financial independence and identity.

Therapy vs. Coaching

• The distinction between therapy and coaching is clarified:
• Therapy is focused on the past, licensed, and aimed at addressing past traumas and issues.
• Coaching is centered on the present and future, offering support for personal development and moving forward.

The Value of Coaching

• Keely highlights the profound results she experienced through personal coaching.
• She explains how coaching provides a safe space for exploring thoughts, feelings, and perspectives that might not be fully explored in regular conversations.
• The hosts stress the importance of understanding the role of coaching and therapy in one’s personal growth journey.

Practical Tips for Finding Calm

• The guest offers a practical tip for listeners to instill some calm in their lives:
• Write a brain dump on paper, unfiltered and uncensored, to get thoughts and emotions out of your head.
• Step away from it and then revisit it to identify predominant areas of concern.
• This exercise helps reduce mental clutter, and addressing specific issues becomes more manageable.

The episode provides valuable insights into the challenges of parenthood and the importance of addressing one’s identity during matrescence, as well as practical advice for finding calm in the chaos of life.

^^^ Thanks, AI ChatBot! We totally agree! xo – Susanne & Missy

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Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Transcript is autogenerated – Apologies for any errors

[00:00:00] Susanne:

Hey everybody. Just a quick note before we get into this week’s show. Some of you may have seen Missy’s Facebook post in our group and on our page that during our little summer break, she was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. Her cancer was found during a routine mammogram, and they noticed a spot that was not there a year ago.

We are all so thankful it was caught early and it is very treatable. In fact, she was scheduled to have a double mastectomy today, but unfortunately tested positive for C O V I D a couple days ago, so it has been rescheduled for later this month. We know we’re just coming off a one month break, but as you might expect, this means we are not quite back to our regular schedule yet.

We do have a bunch of new episodes lined up, and we’ll be releasing those every other week for the next couple of months. And then once Missy has had a chance to heal, we will reassess our schedule and we will let you know when to expect the next batch of new episodes. In the last episode we recorded, which you won’t be hearing until November, Missy shared the story of her diagnosis and since breast cancer awareness is so important, we did not wanna make you wait until November to hear that.

So we are going to add that portion of her story at the end of this episode as well. You can hear that after our outro message. So thank you for understanding and thank you for all of your good thoughts and prayers and kind notes on our socials. Missy reads every single one of them, so thank you. And most importantly, go schedule your mammogram so you can make all of your ellipses count.

Thank you.

[00:01:51] Missy: Welcome to the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. The show that helps you make the most of your ellipses.

You know, that dot, dot, dot that comes after I’m a mom. And I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot writer, foster child advocate. And this week vacation planner.

[00:02:07] Susanne: Oh, where are you going now?

[00:02:09] Missy: I’m, I’m doing two brief vacations, one family, one and one friends, one nowhere. Lovely and cool though. I don’t want to complain because I am getting away, but no, I’m not getting a break from the weather,

[00:02:20] Susanne: Well, then you’re not going to like what I have to say

[00:02:22] Missy: I know, I know.

[00:02:25] Susanne: I’m Suzanne Kearns, mom and dot dot dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And this week, I am so excited to be heading to a 30 degree temperature drop over to Seattle and the Pacific Northwest. Get me out of Texas. Oh my

[00:02:42] Missy: Oh,

[00:02:43] Susanne: How many days has it been now of 100 degree plus?

[00:02:46] Missy: I’ve, I mean, way lost count.

[00:02:48] Susanne: We’ve we are

now.

[00:02:49] Missy: the days.

[00:02:50] Susanne: We’re now like the fifth in the history of tracking temperatures in Texas, the fifth longest stretch of a hundred degree temperatures every day. So,

[00:02:58] Missy: It’s brutal.

[00:02:59] Track 4: yeah,

[00:03:00] Susanne: so yeah, I’ll send you, I’ll send you pictures from wearing hoodies in the Pacific Northwest. Um, but our guest this week is Keely Pierce, a coach and founder of I Am More Academy.

With a relatable approach and a touch of humor, she guides families through

[00:03:18] Track 4: TANF.

[00:03:19] Susanne: Tangitions. There we go. This is how we edit. She guides families through transitions, nurturing strong connections, trust in effective communication. At I Am More Academy workshops, she creates a safe space for students to be heard, inspired, and equipped with the skills for making informed life.

Choices, Keely is a business mom of the year, small business award nominee, and joins us today from her home in England. And she is also surrounded by some of the cutest doggies. So if you hear any snorts or gurgles, that is not our guest tummy. It is adorable puppies, which we encourage you to watch the YouTube to check them out

[00:03:58] Missy: Oh my gosh, she has cute animals.

[00:04:02] Susanne: Welcome.

[00:04:02] Track 4: you.

[00:04:04] Keely: Thank you so much. Thank you. And I’d hate to tell you how glorious our weather is, but it’s, it’s cold and miserable, but I’m absolutely sure you’d definitely appreciate some cold and miserable, miserable for a little break at least.

[00:04:14] Susanne: Oh, we would so much.

[00:04:16] Missy: Yes. Cold and miserable. Sounds so good.

[00:04:19] Susanne: Yeah. In fact, after we get back from Seattle, we are driving our daughter up to Rochester, New York for her, she’s starting college up there. And that was one of her requirements in looking for a college is she wanted cold, snowy, cloudy, rainy, just anything but sun and a hundred degrees.

[00:04:37] Missy: Right? Right. I get so tired of it, which I know probably sounds crazy to people who crave sun, but we had the opposite here.

[00:04:44] Susanne: Yeah. Take our vitamin D you can have it.

[00:04:46] Keely: think, I think the usual British kind of a situation is that the children break up for their summer holidays and it’s like, the rain begins and that’s it for like the six weeks holidays. They go back to school and then it goes glorious September and, and then we enjoy the kids being back and in some sunshine again.

[00:05:03] Susanne: Yeah, that’s us in reverse.

[00:05:06] Missy: Exactly.

[00:05:07] Track 4: Yeah,

[00:05:08] Missy: Exactly. Oh, well, we learned a little bit about you and your bio, but we would love to get the Keely one on one and talk about any like key bits and pieces of who you are and how your career started and how you got to where you are today.

[00:05:21] Keely: lovely. Well, it’s a little bit of a mix and match to be honest, because when I left school and done my GCSEs and stuff, I didn’t really have a direction I wanted to go. And all of a sudden I decided I wanted to be a teacher. So, that was where I was going. And I’d done a diploma in childcare and was kind of going in that direction.

And then I started in a, a weekend job in a pub that led into kind of full time. And the man that I was working for had never had a female manager and. I then kind of probed that a little bit because I was like, well, why not? And then it was very clear that he didn’t agree that females could run a pub basically So this might give an insight into a little bit about who I am and the type of person I am But that might as well have kind of put Red rag to a bull like woo. I was like, Oh, okay. Should we sit down? So I had a little seat. And in that moment I made kind of a statement. I was like, well, I’m not going to go anywhere until I become your first female manager. And so I actually put off my degree to go and do a teacher’s degree, to prove him wrong. And on principle

[00:06:27] Missy: that’s awesome.

[00:06:29] Keely: So.

[00:06:30] Missy: great.

[00:06:30] Susanne: made out of spite.

[00:06:32] Keely: Yeah, so in that literal moment, my, like, pathway changed completely. Um, I don’t regret it, it’s all good, but then I fell into basically the land of hospitality and pubs and restaurants. and I did become his first female manager, funnily enough. It wasn’t easy, and it took a long time, but I got there.

And, uh, and then in the end, I went and actually ran his sister pub. to which we were headhunted for another pub in, um, a little bit out of town, but… It was kind of a big, medieval, meant to be haunted… So yeah, it kind of led one thing to another and I met my partner now husband in the pub as well. So we just kind of started on this journey together and then again, just in that moment kind of you decide, Oh, let’s have a child cause that’s like the next step in life.

And um, yeah. And so I finished my business degree cause I did go back and do a business degree just out of interest more than anything else. And, um, I actually took over our own pub doing my exams. Don’t recommend that to anybody, working 16 hour days, seven days a week, taking a pub from like the bottom of the ground up, uh, whilst doing your exams.

But yeah, so once we then had a child and done a few years, it was like, I’m gonna either bury you in the garden.

[00:07:49] Track 4: Or

[00:07:51] Keely: Or we leave the pub and have a happy marriage, like you make a choice. and in that moment, a customer offered me an opportunity, in a network marketing business. And again, I’m just that person.

I was like, Oh, that’s interesting. Okay, let’s go. And then I kind of ended up on this 11 year. Journey of personal development that ultimately led me to what I’m doing right now.

[00:08:15] Missy: That’s amazing.

[00:08:17] Keely: Yeah. So

[00:08:18] Missy: and I’m so glad nobody is buried in the garden.

[00:08:21] Keely: no, he’s a family alive Still driving me up the wall, but very much alive and kicking

[00:08:27] Susanne: Oh, good. Oh my gosh. Well, you know, okay. So we started this podcast, what, almost three years ago now. And we have heard from many coaches and many women and we’re probably two of those women who felt like a fulfilling career may not be compatible with a fulfilling family life or like, or we see other people do it and we’re like, how, how, how does.

They have like 15 chefs and cleaners and, uh, but it’s especially interesting when we hear from women in other countries. so what, what is it like in the UK? We like to assume that if all our problems would go away, if we just moved to Europe, I’m guessing that’s not the case.

[00:09:04] Missy: Probably

[00:09:04] Keely: no No, definitely not And I think that kind of as much as time has moved on and you know back back in the days of when I suppose My great grandmother would be at home and she would do the cooking the cleaning the children And look after the husband while he worked, I think no matter where you are in the world, it’s very much a case of both people, both parents, both partners have to work these days.

Just the whole kind of world seems to have evolved where there is no choice to kind of have that, unless you run in a very, very good way. So then clearly you can have all the chefs and the cleaners and the nannies and everything that you need to make that all possible. But

[00:09:41] Missy: can’t.

[00:09:42] Susanne: No. Mm

[00:09:44] Keely: So yeah, I think when it comes to having that kind of fulfilling life. It’s about balance and I think everyone has this assumption that balance is very much like 50 50 You know kind of that even keel and I think that’s just not a reality It’s kind of you know different seasons in our life is what I like to call it.

So when we have a child, we enter a new season and that season isn’t necessarily kind of a couple of months long, but Again, it kind of we flow then into maybe another season of our life where it could be turning into a toddler And then into school years, for example, so in each of those kind of segments you can kind of change that balance.

So whether that is like 80% mom and 20% career and, you know, personal fulfillment, but as they get that little bit older, you can kind of change up the balance a little bit and just find what’s right for you because everyone’s unique and everyone’s ideal of. happiness and career is so, so different. It’s not one box fits all.

[00:10:42] Susanne: Yeah, that’s for sure.

[00:10:43] Missy: Yeah. Yeah. And kind of along those lines, we were thinking about you have this really great focus on taking people from chaos to calm and everybody’s chaos looks really differently too. not every home is the same, but do you see some common threads in your clients of what people are really struggling with and what makes it complicated to focus on those priorities, no matter what their chaos is?

[00:11:06] Keely: Yeah. And I think, you know, for someone who talks about chaos to calm, I’d like to say my life’s really chaotic, really chaotic, but I thrive in chaos. And so for me, it’s quite a good thing. I think my upbringing in my childhood was, um, very chaotic. So I, I guess it’s kind of become my norm. Should we say, and sometimes that can be perceived as not very healthy, but for me, I was once described as a swan, so at the top I look all calm and serene and then underneath my little legs are like, um, so yeah, I think everyone’s chaos is very different and it does feel every day to kind of have this image of harmony and happiness and bliss is such a distant thing, but I think the real key focus is being in the now, having that gratitude for, okay, I’m in chaos, this is a nightmare, but actually.

Look how happy we are, look the kids smiling, yes okay they’re about to have a tantrum but look they’re smiling right now in this moment they are happy and we can embrace that moment I think nine times out of ten as mum’s trying to catch that on camera and hope that dad somewhere is going to remember to take a picture of us because we were there at some point.

Men aren’t very good with cameras, are they? And taking those moments. But um, but yeah, the chaos to come and it’s really trying to identify for me, you know, I do work mostly with mums, but what’s chaos to you? You know, what is your norm? Because my chaos, as much as it is very much chaos, to me, it’s also a bit of a norm.

Although Chaos today to any of the listeners is that my sister’s been taken into hospital to be induced for the baby and, and I was like, could you just hold baby till tomorrow? I’ve got a really busy day today because I’m a birthing partner. Clearly that’s not going to work. But yeah, so my chaos today is sending not only my child, but my nephew.

To my dad and kind of, you know, all of a sudden everything is just a little bit manic, but actually I’m, I’m actually here. I’m present. I’m calm. I’m happy. And I’m, I’m taking on that moment. And so to have clients come to you, share what they’re going through, share their kind of and what their feelings are at that time.

And just. Putting in a strategy and some kind of tools for them to really just embrace that chaos and, and take maybe their anxieties down a little bit.

[00:13:25] Susanne: Well, now my anxiety is up because what happens if she has the baby? Like, do you have the red alert button go in there, I hope?

[00:13:32] Keely: I’ve had two texts come up, but I’m not, I’m not looking. She’ll be fine for an

[00:13:35] Susanne: No, you go look

[00:13:37] Missy: You have to look at your texts.

[00:13:39] Keely: no, it’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. She’s got a friend on backup.

[00:13:43] Susanne: Oh my goodness.

[00:13:45] Missy: I know. When you emailed and said that your sister was having a baby today, I was like, well, we have to reschedule. And you were very calm. You’re like, no, I think I’ve got it under control.

And I

[00:13:54] Keely: What will be, will be. Yeah, what will be, will be. It’s all good. She’s not on her own. She’s not on her own. So it’s, you know, it’s my… It’s my privilege to be able to experience that. And, um, and with my nephew who was, who’s five now, he was an emergency C section. So I didn’t get to, I didn’t get to the end bit, should we say the good bit?

I, uh, I had 40 hours of awake and cheering her on, but then, uh, missed the last bit. So hopefully I’ll miss the beginning bit now and then catch the good bit.

[00:14:21] Missy: it’s the good part.

[00:14:22] Susanne: Okay, well, we’ll, we’ll talk really fast just just

[00:14:26] Keely: Honestly, don’t worry. It’s all good.

[00:14:28] Susanne: Oh, well, that’s interesting. Okay. So that’s, that is definitely a bit of chaos from your clients. So what do you hear from them that they are considering chaos in their lives?

[00:14:38] Keely: I think sometimes you’ve got kind of parents who have got close children So, you know, you could have like a five year old, a three year old and a baby and then their chaos is How are my parents and all children together? How am I giving them the love? How am I? Am I good enough? What’s my worth? And, you know, not feeling enough completely in the, the family dynamics.

And then you have the other aspects of parents who feel like they’re doing all right with the kids and that, that’s not too bad. The juggling bit’s okay, but actually maybe it’s their relationship with their partner because the kids consume everything. And so the kids are kind of the chaos and the calm that they’re kind of looking for and to seek is, is some time with their partner.

Because yes, we’re mum and dad. But actually, we are husband and wife or partners or, you know, that side of it as well. And I think a big part of what I try to look at with parents is the, the journey of matrescence. I don’t know if you’re aware of that term or heard

[00:15:34] Missy: No. Tell us about matrescence.

[00:15:37] Keely: Okay, so, matrescence is, it’s kind of like a new scientific kind of wording around the journey into parenthood, basically.

So, the transition into motherhood. So, whether that’s your pregnancy, whether that’s kind of giving birth, or actually, maybe that’s just after baby, it’s like the whole thing. And it looks at four pillars, so the pillars are your, um, identity, which is a huge thing, I think, for us women. Um, Then into another pillar of relationships, but that relationship might be your partner or actually it’s a friendship group, or maybe it’s your colleagues.

Maybe it’s actually your mom and dad, you know, on your side, let alone the in laws. so the, the relationships and the dynamics and how that changes within that process of inter motherhood. And then the other pillar then is into, our bodies and how our bodies change and our thoughts around that as well as external and into kind of, your emotional wellbeing. So, you know, those, those thoughts that you can have where you think, am I going crazy? Like, is this normal? And all of those kinds of things that pop into your mind that you think, okay, that’s not, that’s, that’s not okay. That’s really like crazy when actually it’s not crazy and I’m not going crazy, but actually

[00:16:49] Track 4: all our hormones are everywhere

[00:16:50] Keely: all our hormones emotional wellbeing in general, in that process can be, you know, testing at times.

And I think a lot of the time. You could go to your GP and have that conversation. It’d be, Oh, you’ve got, you know, depression, your postnatal depression, baby blues and stuff. But I think if everybody had a little bit more understanding

[00:17:08] Track 4: of the transition

[00:17:09] Keely: of the transition of matrescence, then you can kind of think, actually, no, that’s normal.

Oh, actually, no, this is, this is what I’ve read about. Or this is what I now understand. Oh yeah, I’ve, I’ve seen this. I’ve heard this before. and really that kind of empowerment as a woman in that journey.

[00:17:25] Susanne: Oh, I love how identity is one of those pillars because I think that gets so overlooked

[00:17:32] Missy: I felt like I had no identity for such a long time other than mom. I mean, that’s part of the reason we started this podcast, but I just felt so lost in the day to day grind of being a mom.

[00:17:45] Susanne: Mm hmm.

[00:17:45] Keely: Definitely. And I think, for me, I didn’t have a clue what matrescence was, so there’s a ten year gap between my two children. so when I had Liliana… It was a bit like, whoa, okay.

[00:17:59] Susanne: Yeah.

[00:17:59] Keely: was like, I’m just going to nip to the shop. And then I looked at this child in a car seat and I was like, Oh my God, I can’t just nip to the shop.

I’ve got a thing. I’ve got a baby. Like, I can’t just do stuff. It’s so much harder. Yeah. Um, yeah. And then I, and the money side of it for me, you know, going from being Miss Independent, regardless of having a husband, partner, you know, our monies were very separate. We both worked hard. We both had. Very kind of separate stuff there because I’m really stubborn.

And, um, And yeah, and so to then be on maternity pay, which doesn’t give you a lot, I don’t know how people survive on maternity, um, and being obviously

[00:18:35] Susanne: try it in America. There’s, there’s not even maternity. So,

[00:18:39] Keely: okay. So I’m really lucky in that sense, but for me it was a real hard… hard time where actually me and my husband come to the agreement that he’d give me a wifey wage.

So literally a direct debit was set up and I had a wage go in that I didn’t discuss with him, didn’t have to like, that was just my wage that I could do anything with. And I just kind of mentally kind of parked that as it wasn’t from him, um, just to kind of help with that identity shift.

[00:19:08] Susanne: That is so fascinating. Mm hmm.

[00:19:10] Missy: That really is. Cause it was a huge struggle of mine that I was not earning any money. And of course you can look at all of the, there’s all kinds of. Research and data, you know, that talks about what a mother would earn if she were paid for her time. It doesn’t make you feel any better when there’s no actual money coming in.

Um, and it really does mess with your identity.

[00:19:30] Keely: Yeah, for sure. And I feel like, you know, I’m not one of those mums that goes to all the baby groups and talks to all the mums in group and, you know, I’ve, I’ve just done the whole primary school years and I barely spoke to any parents outside school. Like I just, I’m not that mum. Yeah, I ended up actually organizing the year six Leavers kind of celebration just now, which was an absolute nightmare.

And I’m glad it was the only thing I did in primary, but, um,

[00:19:56] Susanne: We just bring napkins.

[00:19:59] Keely: next time I’m taking that role.

[00:20:01] Missy: Yeah.

[00:20:02] Keely: but yeah, so it just wasn’t me. And I think some people really enjoy that and they find it an amazing part of the process, but that’s not my identity. That’s not who I am. And I really struggled with that.

[00:20:14] Susanne: Well, that’s so important to know and to be able to lean into whatever your identity really is. And I think so many of us, me included, did just walk into that like, okay, the kids are in elementary school. That must mean that I’m in the PTA now, which I do highly recommend. Or it means that, you know, I’ve got to run all these class parties.

I got to do all these things. And if that does not feel natural, people should know that that is okay. And you don’t have to do that. or if that is your thing, then lean into it and be proud of it. And, and we talk a lot about finding areas of those roles that can actually. Help you learn new things, or, you know, maybe running a big event is a project management opportunity that you would like to use to build those skills, or I ran the newsletter for our PTA in our school.

And so that helped me learn a lot of stuff around graphic design I put that in air quotes, graphic design,

[00:21:14] Missy: Canva.

Canva.

[00:21:16] Susanne: canvas, canvas, my

[00:21:18] Missy: Canva is amazing.

[00:21:19] Susanne: but I think that it probably helps a lot of women to have a coach to help them think through some of those things.

Like, this does not feel like me. Is that just because I’m tired and frustrated all the time? Or is it truly just something that does not jive with my personality and my skills and my interests? So, you know, whether people are trying to Make some kind of change in their life, or deal with this big change in their life, or reach a new goal.

Coaches can really be helpful for that. And we are obviously huge advocates, but I’m sure that you have encountered barriers to people. Feeling like they can ask for help or even worse for the people who are not now bringing in an income, feeling like they can justify paying for help, which can be a struggle as well.

So like, what, what do you see as those boundaries and how can we help listeners understand that, you know, they are worth it?

[00:22:14] Keely: I think, for me, when I mentioned I had a ten year gap, so having Jude, I kind of then knew what matrescence was, and I think for like the first seven years, I can’t have another child. Like, I can’t mentally go back to that place. That’s not okay. And I freaked out completely. So when I kind of was pregnant this time, I was like, okay, what can I do?

What can I put in place that’s going to help me not feel that way? So, there was little things that I’d done such as, um, booked myself on a college course when the baby was still a baby baby, but not for a full time course. It was just an evening course because I thought not too much effort has to go into it.

I’m surrounded by kind of older people, like minded people that aren’t just talking about babies. Um, And within that I didn’t really know what I wanted to do or anything else and I ended up on a counseling skills course And met some really beautiful human beings and everything in there But it was within that group that actually the teacher also, ran the coaching and mentoring side within the college And they had students who were just about to complete their degree, but needed some case studies and that was maybe my My first real insight into personal coaching, because to me, I’m being on that personal development journey for say, 11 years, I’ve kind of done business coaches.

I’ve met business coaches. I understand the concept of having a coach, but I’d never really truly identified the actual purpose of having one for yourself. In kind of life, and I hate the term life coach, but ultimately, if you can have a coach that can kind of discuss any aspects that you know, this is Charlie, by the way,

[00:23:48] Susanne: Oh my god, you all, seriously, go to the YouTube right now to see Charlie.

[00:23:55] Keely: Charlie,

[00:23:56] Missy: Ooh, Charlie’s so cute.

[00:23:58] Susanne: Oh.

[00:23:59] Keely: I digress. Um, so yeah, this lady introduced me to, a personal coach and it was amazing. It was, you know, having that space to just discuss anything, to know it’s confidential, to know that you can literally say anything you like to get it off your chest, to then not just get it off your chest, but deep dive into this kind of road of who knows where it might lead to.

And then at the end of it going. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Or, you know, kind of wherever it leads you, you just don’t know sometimes and, and every time I’d had a session, I was like, Oh, that, that just makes sense. Cause I don’t know about you ladies, but. Whenever you have a conversation with your friends, and girls can talk, girls can really talk, and we can go on about all sorts, but the conversation you can have with your bestest friend, that friend that you could literally tell anything to, doesn’t even touch the sides of coming away from that conversation with a coach.

It’s kind of like… I’ve had different therapies over the years. So in a nutshell, my mum was a drug addict and, been involved with domestic abuse and, uh, lots of childhood trauma kind of stuff. So over the years I’ve had, whether it’s hypnotherapy, um, kind of trauma therapy, counseling and all different things, but not coaching.

And the difference between coaching and therapy is very much that. One is licensed and, and one is not. And therapy very much kind of is there to go back, go back through all the past and, and, you know, help you deal and process with that. Whereas coaching is very much dealing with the now and moving forward.

So for me, I kind of didn’t really get that until experience in it. And I can honestly say that the most kind of profound results I’ve ever had was from working with my coach rather than a counselor.

[00:25:50] Missy: Interesting. I want to want you to say that again, because I think we’ve covered it on the podcast before, but I think it’s really important to distinguish the difference say that again, what the difference between the two is.

[00:26:01] Keely: So coaching is very much about the now and for you to move forward and develop. Whereas therapy, it’s a licensed therapist. It is someone who has been through college, university, got all of the qualifications and the know how to get you from where you are and how you feel, going backwards, retrace your steps, going back through any traumas and problems that you’ve had in the past.

And helping you to deal with that, which is very, very different to coaching.

[00:26:28] Missy: Yeah. I think that’s a good distinction for people to understand when they’re trying to figure out why would I need a coach or I already have a therapist. I’m in therapy. Why would I also need to add a coach? They’re very different things with different goals.

[00:26:41] Keely: Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. And I think sometimes, you can take a conversation and then see it like an onion where you’re peeling back those layers and then you’re just getting to kind of a little more depth and a little more depth. And then within maybe five, 10, 15 minutes, sometimes you can sit there and it’s like a light bulb gone in your head and you’re like, Oh my God, I see it.

You know, it was a. a conversation of me moaning about a family member that made me identify how toxic that actually was and, and, and then gave me the ability, not from the coach, but from my own, just actually being able to see it from a different perspective to put in those healthy boundaries to kind of protect myself and, and have that healthy boundary moving forward.

[00:27:24] Susanne: Love boundaries. Such a, uh,

[00:27:27] Missy: are hard. Boundaries

[00:27:28] Susanne: could go a whole extra hour on just those, but yeah, that’s so, so important.

[00:27:33] Missy: Yeah. So if anybody’s listening and is overwhelmed and is like, okay, well, I have to find a coach and I need to do all of this and, and. If we could boil it down to one place to start, like what’s one thing they can do before they find and hire the right coach to just start instilling some calm, like one good tip that they can practice today.

[00:27:53] Keely: think if you can identify, so not everybody has a diary or runs by a schedule, but if you can literally, I’m a big advocate for pen and paper. It’s that visual being able to see something or, or write something down, but then read it out loud again. It’s a whole different perspective. So if you can write down. Like a complete brain dump. How am I feeling? What is going on? Where is the last few days been like, just draw it kind of scribble it, brain dump it, put it in kind of like a cloud or however you want to doodle. Just put it onto paper and keep going. Don’t, don’t think about anything else. Just keep going and keep going.

And even if you end on a tangent, just squiggle everything you can and then take a moment, step away. Kind of, you know, have a second outside or whatever, clear your mind, clear your thoughts and then go back and reevaluate with a cup of tea or whatever and just look at what you have written down and really just identify what it looks like for you because that’s just being able to free flow and and have everything in front of you and to then maybe recognize some key areas that might be flagging up more than more than others and then either investigate Okay, that could be the kids, that could be your husband, but then you know that that’s an area that you can actually home in on and really address and look at further.

But to not only just get it out of your mind and brain dump it. You should also feel a little bit of weight lifted too, because you can then actually see what’s happening. And I don’t mean like a huge month’s worth, like literally a couple of days it could be, or a day if it’s a really bad day.

[00:29:27] Missy: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:28] Keely: you know, we all have those days too.

Um, and then from there, you know, if there’s something that is, that you can see that’s kind of coming up as quite predominant, you can really… Start writing about that, you know, what’s annoying, what’s happening, how do you feel, how is it making you feel, and then even rip that up, you know, you can just offload it for a second, but just get it off your chest, kind of dispose of it, have a moment, and then from there you can kind of regroup on areas you need to address and maybe how you can address them.

[00:29:57] Susanne: Or instead of ripping it up, you can go just show it to your family and be like, see, see.

[00:30:02] Keely: Oh,

[00:30:03] Missy: I just wrote 27 pages of how annoying you are.

[00:30:07] Keely: Well, yeah. It’s probably best not, because sometimes we feel quite high on emotions that we might say things we regret.

[00:30:14] Susanne: yes, that’s a good point. That is a

[00:30:16] Missy: But I do find that’s such great advice because I find that naming something, putting it down, giving it a name, saying this is what’s bothering me, sucks some of the power from that thing. And it does allow you to breathe and focus a little bit. I love that advice.

[00:30:31] Track 4: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:30:32] Susanne: And I, and just writing something down, I think I’m guilty of this a lot. And I’m sure other people are too, where you feel like, well, I know what’s going on. It’s all in my head. I mean, if

it’s in there, if I can write it down, it’s in my head anyway, but just, there’s just something. So physical and mental about writing it down.

It is. It’s a weight lifted. It’s like, okay, there it exists somewhere. Well, I’m guessing not if you rip it up, but it exists somewhere that I can look at it and really think about it. And, you know, categorize it. Like you said, look and see if there’s particular groups of things that are taking up too much time, which is hard to do when it’s just swirling around in your brain.

Um, you can actually see it. I love that idea. Oh my gosh, I need to do that today.

[00:31:17] Keely: I think, I think even, you know, there’s times where, there’s times where you can’t sleep, and that’s where a phone comes in really handy, because I literally just get my notes out, and I just kind of, anything that is in my mind, I’m just like, type, type, type, type, type, type, type. And then I’ll lie there and I go, Oh yeah, a bit more type, type, type, type, type.

And then nine times out of 10, or even 10 times out of 10, I don’t even look at it again. But it’s off my mind. And then I just literally put the phone to one side and it just kind of gives me that ability to stop. And then I’ll start concentrating on my breathing to just bring my heart rate down and then hopefully go to sleep.

[00:31:49] Susanne: Oh, mm hmm. Yeah, you know what? It’s so funny. Uh, Jess Leahy had a really good idea on hashtagging on writing. This was for writer ideas. Like, if you have an idea in the middle of the night, and she was afraid that if she picked up her phone, then she’d be like, Oh, Instagram,

or just the light of it would wake up her partner, or whatever.

Uh, but she had, we’ll have to look it up. It’s a pen with a little light on it, so that if you need to do, like, a middle of the night,

[00:32:13] Track 4: Shot

[00:32:14] Missy: Yeah.

[00:32:14] Susanne: It has like a little headlight on it so you can see what you’re writing. So for people, for people who might, you know, be fearful of the temptation to

[00:32:23] Track 4: to

[00:32:24] Susanne: scroll some Instagram while you’re doing that, that might be a good way to start.

Oh, okay. Let’s see. I’m trying to look at the time. Ah, we’re getting so close. Well, we’re going to, yeah, we’re going to take a little pivot here cause I want to talk about how you highlight this statistic that is just horrifying that in the UK, 40% of the population could be living in poverty beginning this year.

And we know that this is a topic that’s really personal to you. So can you talk a little bit about that and how it’s impacting families?

[00:32:58] Keely: Absolutely. And I feel like the statistic is very much true at the moment. That’s for sure. I think the cost of living crisis and so many people are affected directly. And um, the statistics now show that a lot of children, you know, teachers are putting on breakfast clubs where they’re actually providing breakfast and calling it kind of homework clubs just to make sure that.

The children are kind of getting food to start their day off. And it’s, it’s had such a direct effect on everybody, in general, but for those families that truly can’t afford anything, I think that’s why I’m so passionate about both aspects of my business. So for anyone that kind of doesn’t know, I do go into the schools and do workshops, but obviously I also do the coaching, as well.

So I try and entwine the two, because I feel like as we’ve discussed, you know, Coaching does cost money because unfortunately it’s not given by, you know, the NHS here in England or your GP or, you know, it’s, it’s not a free accessible thing. But for me, it’s so important and coming from my background and my childhood and everything, you know, my company is, I am more because you are more, you’re more than your situation.

You are more than your upbringing. You are more than your parents and you are enough and you can do anything you want to do. And that’s why. My business is called what it’s called. So for me, I work with schools direct because actually I’m accessing those children that wouldn’t be accessed via coaching.

So it won’t access their, their parents and things, but I’m going straight to the children who do need it. I also work with organizations who. have kind of a social value, project that they want to do. And so they can actually fund and support workshops. And, uh, I’m currently in the midst of working on a construction company, because they have to give anything between one and 10% of a project to their environment and their community.

So if you can imagine. 1% of say a 2 million pound project and the direct impact now, it is just little old me, but I have been working and partnered with other companies who do similar and offer similar things to me so that we can really impact kind of the thousands rather than the hundreds. So, although the poverty is a really scary.

and horrible statistic, quite frankly, I’m so passionate and so proud that I can actually impact both sides of the community who, regardless of how they feel the crisis is hitting them, there is an impact.

[00:35:22] Track 4: I

[00:35:22] Susanne: Oh, I love

[00:35:23] Missy: Amazing. I

[00:35:24] Susanne: And you know what? That brings up such an interesting point. We don’t need to dive into it here, but just highlighting the idea that insurance does cover therapy, but does not cover coaching. I, we talked about the difference between the two, but I still think there’s. It’s such great value in both sides of that, whether it’s looking backwards or looking forward.

So I’m curious, I’m curious if that’ll be a change over the next, you know, 10 years, 20 years that they’ll start to see the value in coaching and cover that as well.

[00:35:54] Missy: Right. So clearly educators and schools are seeing the value in it and bringing you in. Like I think this is a great place to start with other people being aware of the value.

[00:36:03] Susanne: Yes.

[00:36:04] Keely: I’ve just, a new project that’s literally about to start in September where one school has seen such an impact that they are taking their most vulnerable. So I’ve got seven students that will be in one small group. and they’ve booked me for a whole academic year to work with these seven students in particular to take them on a journey and then as it leads up to their, what we have, the GCSEs and their kind of final year, at that point they will then just have one to one private coaching with me to see them through their exams. so, you know, I’m not saying every school could do that, but for these particular students, obviously the head teacher feels like it’s such a profound thing to impact them that he’s taking that investment to move forward with those students.

[00:36:52] Susanne: Oh, my gosh, what a gift. I mean, as someone who is taking her daughter to college in a few weeks and Missy is just starting the process of doing that planning and doing that thinking around her son’s future for going off to college. I mean, we know how hard that can be, even with all the privileges that we bring to our kids.

It’s tough. So kids who do not have access to that, what a gift that you’re giving them to be able to help see their future in a whole through a whole different lens.

[00:37:25] Missy: It is. It is. So if anybody wants to learn more or get to know you or see if coaching might be right or see if they have a program that might align with something you’re doing, you cuppa. So how do people find you?

[00:37:37] Track 4: you?

[00:37:37] Keely: So you can find me on Instagram, which is I underscore am underscore more. Coach, I am more coach. Uh, or you could go to my website, which is www.iammore.co uk. And literally on the website, on the front page, it literally will tell you, book a cozy cup here, or click on the coach and link. And it will also have numerous buttons where you can book a cozy cup.

And ultimately that is just a zoom. A zoom call. And. Have a cup of tea, coffee, whatever you want, wine if it’s the evening, you know, whatever you want, or daytime, whatever floats your boat. Um, we could just have a kind of no pressure, no judgment, just a really chilled conversation and see if, you know, we get on, see if I’m right for you and if I can help with your situation.

Um, and on the, on the kind of other side of it, I’d also like to say I haven’t yet fine tuned, this kind of project that I’m doing, but I did discuss matrescence. And I have worked with a psychotherapist who deals with mother wounds. Um, she’s amazing. And we together have done a four part series on matrescence.

So they’re kind of short videos on each of the pillars of matrescence and what they are. And, uh, if anybody would like that or access to that, by all means, either Kind of book in on a cozy cuppa, I’ll send you the links to that or, or kind of get in touch. However you kind of want to access me and just mention this podcast and I will give you access to that.

No problem at all.

[00:39:02] Susanne: Amazing.

[00:39:04] Missy: All right. Well, we’re going to pivot. Oh, what’s up?

[00:39:06] Keely: oh, last thing, just last thing. Anybody who might not be kind of dealing with a younger child and with children, even if they’re going up to kind of college, because they say adolescence is up to 19 years old.

[00:39:17] Susanne: Mm hmm.

[00:39:18] Track 4: mares

[00:39:18] Keely: Matrescence and adolescence. are very, very alike. So if you aren’t kind of at that younger season and you have got teenagers If you can understand the concept of matrescence yourself You can relate that to your teenager and how and what they are going through currently as well.

[00:39:36] Susanne: Oh, my brain just did a little pew.

[00:39:38] Track 4: Did you

[00:39:40] Missy: you see both of our faces go? Because we both have houses full of teenagers and um, yeah,

[00:39:46] Susanne: Oh, I love that.

[00:39:47] Keely: Yeah, so that’s why I like to take you on that journey from matrescence through to adolescence.

[00:39:52] Susanne: Okay. I’m getting those videos too.

[00:39:54] Missy: I know. I know. Everybody. We need the videos. So reach out to Keeley and get the videos. Oh my gosh. Okay. So much great information. And we’re going to pivot one last time and do our look, listen, learns. And I know you have to get out of here and go see a baby be born. So we might speed listen, learn today.

Um, we’ll talk fast, but, um, for anyone new here who hasn’t, we never talk fast. Maybe we can edit it fast. Um, but our look, listen, learns are just. A fun time, a few minutes at the end of every episode, we talk about something we might be watching, learning, reading, doing, it can be serious, it can be silly, kind of whatever floats your boat.

And we don’t like to put our guest in the hot seat. So Suzanne is going first. Tell us what you are LLL ing this week.

[00:40:42] Susanne: Okay. I’m going to do it so fast. I’m looking at Hijack on Apple TV. How do you pronounce it? Idris Elba? Idris

[00:40:48] Missy: Elba.

[00:40:50] Susanne: Oh my gosh.

[00:40:51] Missy: I haven’t watched it yet, but,

[00:40:53] Susanne: I’m like, how are you going to make this series interesting? Like they’re in a plane the whole time, but oh my gosh, they do a really fun job. And I was really mad because I thought we had all the episodes at our disposal and then we got up.

To where we had to actually wait a few days for an episode and it was really, it was, it was uncomfortable around here for a while, like, why isn’t it Wednesday yet? But anyway, so, so hijack, highly recommend, and since it is too hot to walk dogs, I’m super behind in my podcast listening, but since I’m trying to focus on learning about stuff for my new job, I’m Go back to episode 112 with Meredith Effington, she talks about binaural beats,

[00:41:33] Track 4: which

[00:41:33] Susanne: is, it’s this music that literally like goes from one ear to the other and it’s calming and you feel like you’re getting a massage, but it comes in handy for.

Muting out some of the sounds of grand central station, which is my office and learning. I am learning as I’ve been talking about probably more than you want to hear. I got this new job a couple of weeks ago and I am learning that learning does not happen over. Night, it has been a couple of weeks of my new job and I feel like I’m getting a hang of it.

I know everybody’s names now and what they do and all the pieces are starting to fit together. But it made me think that, okay, what, what is like a realistic expectation when you start a new role for feeling really settled and grounded? So I googled it and according to LinkedIn and actually a few articles, they said three months to a year

[00:42:28] Keely: Wow.

[00:42:28] Susanne: what?

So that made me feel better in the sense that

[00:42:32] Missy: also worse.

[00:42:34] Susanne: I know better and worse, but no, I do think the nice thing is, I mean, it depends on who you are that three months to a year and what type of role that you’re going into, I’m sure. But I think that so much of the work that we’ve been doing. Even though it’s unpaid, you know, through our volunteer work, things that are keeping our skills fresh has made it so much easier to roll into a paid role.

Um, but it just, it drove home how important it is to use time at home. If you are on a career break to still be doing things to keep those skills fresh and to learn new skills so that that transition is. Closer to the three months than to the year and less jarring. So, but I thought that was really reassuring because I mean, I felt like after two weeks, like, Oh, they’re going to think I’m not doing my job very well, cause I don’t know everything that there is to know about this thing that everybody else is, you know, had a year to catch up on.

so it was reassuring, but it also reinforced that belief that yes, use this time to be ready to hit that. Hit the, hit the road rolling, um, once you want to go back to work. And what about you, Keeley? What do you look with some learning?

[00:43:42] Keely: So I did prepare. I have it kind of here so I can go fast or fast ish. Um, so the look, I took that as a book actually, so looking I’ve gone back to and I’m not sure for anyone who’s kind of Looking on the YouTube, it’s called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Sounds morbid, I promise it’s not. And it’s from Bronnie Ware, so I’m sure you can get an audio on it too.

But I’ve gone back to this book, because I read it many years ago, and it had such a profound impact on my life. And it’s funny, when you go back to something, you take different things. And the first time was very much, kind of, no regrets. So the first kind of thing I took from it was, if I was on my deathbed, Would I regret whatever this decision is I’m about to make?

And the answer’s no, so therefore I’d crack on with it anyway. If the answer was yes, I’d then think twice about, you know, my choices. This time round, I suppose it just cements what I kind of said in the podcast moving before, which was happiness is now. And there was one little thing I wrote down, which is gratitude for every day along the way is key to acknowledging and enjoying now.

And I think just that reminder to have gratitude. For the here, the now, and the really simple just allows you to kind of live in that happy state and be a little bit more harmonious.

[00:44:58] Susanne: I love that.

[00:45:00] Keely: And then listening, um, I’m not sure, well actually no, I think Stephen Bartlett. He was on Dragon’s Den.

He’s actually from very close to me here in Devon in Torquay. and he is the founder of, The Diary of a CEO. Have you heard of that podcast?

[00:45:16] Susanne: Oh,

[00:45:17] Keely: very well known here. Amazing. You need to get on that. So Stephen Bartlett.

[00:45:23] Missy: Diary of a Seed.

[00:45:24] Keely: of a CEO and he’s, um, blimey, he might be on like 300 plus podcasts now and he has amazing guests.

Amazing. so if you haven’t seen it, absolutely see it. Um, but for me, I listened to a podcast for him, which was very different to his normal. And he said it was kind of five in the morning. He was in New York. He didn’t have time for a podcast. So we just actually spoke very naturally about why we’re actually all messed up.

and it was just really kind of. grounding and normal and nice to hear. So that was really kind of my listen, take and learn. My learning, I did do a masterclass yesterday. Um, and that was from a lovely lady who worked very much like Tony Robbins. Do you know Tony Robbins? Obviously your side of the water more than mine.

Um, I did do one of his firewalk weekends and stuff and one of his big events, which was amazing. But for me, the take home was that energy change your state. And in order to change your state and your energy, you know, big movements kind of, for me, I stick on really upbeat dance music, very loud because you can’t be sad and mopey and in like the dumps with that.

So for me, that kind of learning is that reminder of okay, I’m in control of my state, I’m in control of my energy, and I can change that at a click of a finger, literally. I just need to take that action.

[00:46:45] Missy: Oh, I love that.

[00:46:46] Susanne: Yeah, I get that music going.

[00:46:48] Missy: Yes.

[00:46:49] Susanne: All

[00:46:49] Keely: Feeds the soul.

[00:46:50] Susanne: What do you look with some learning? Oh, I love this. Mm hmm.

[00:46:54] Missy: Okay, quickly. I am along those lines. It’s interesting. You say that my learn this last couple of weeks. I have been doing some dance workouts. I found them on Apple fitness. Plus I’m sure they exist in all kinds of places. and. I do them in my room with the door closed because it’s not pretty. Um, but what I am doing it for is I really, this year, one of my visions and my vision board was joyful movement every day.

And by the middle of the year, I realized I had kind of let that go. Exercise had become like, I have to do my exercise again. So I revisited my vision board and I was like, I’m supposed to be doing joyful movement. So I found these dance workouts and everybody knows I love the brain stuff, the brain science.

And it really, I’m doing a little experiment on my own to see because learning choreography is not easy for me. Half the time I cannot do the choreography that they are showing me. And so I’m just dancing while they’re doing choreography, doing my own little thing. But I feel like this cannot be bad for my brain.

It has to be really good to force myself to learn something like this. So in practicing learning choreography, I feel completely free when I’m done because I can only focus on the dance for 30 minutes, I cannot think about anything else because it’s so hard to follow for me, probably if someone who can dance would be like, I’ve got it, but, um, but

[00:48:19] Susanne: I not know you were doing this? That’s such a great

[00:48:21] Missy: I just started this like the last couple of weeks, so maybe I’ve done like six by now and it is getting easier. I mean, yesterday, I would say I followed a good third of the choreography much easier than I had before. So, um, I highly recommend doing some sort of workout, whether it’s dance or something else that is so out of your wheelhouse, because I think it’s great for your brain and your body.

and I have been looking at. The last season of Succession. I think we might be the last people on the planet to finish it, but in case we’re not, I’m no spoilers. I’m just going to say, Oh, it was everything you thought it was going to be and nothing you thought it was going to be. Um, and then I am listening also behind on my podcast because I’m not out walking.

It’s just too damn hot, but I’m mostly listening to kids coming and going. My house is like a revolving door. That’s a great thing. I’m not unhappy about it, but, it’s chaos here a lot of times. And I’m listening for the little beep beep of life 360 telling me my people are home. And I can shut my eyes and go to sleep and not worry anymore.

So that’s my summer. Listen,

[00:49:29] Susanne: Oh, technology.

[00:49:31] Missy: I know. I don’t want to sit and like watch and track them and follow them, but it’s really reassuring when I get the little notification that they’re on the move and on their way home.

[00:49:39] Susanne: No one can sneak in anymore. We’ve got, we’ve got the video of the doorbell. Like we were joking when we were like, should we leave Zoe alone for the weekend when we go to pick up our son from band camp? We’re like, no one can get in this house without us knowing. Like,

[00:49:54] Missy: Yeah,

[00:49:55] Susanne: that she’s gonna have some raging party and we’re not going to know about it.

So,

[00:49:59] Missy: feel kind of sorry for our kids. I mean, I’ve told my kids that I’m like, I’m sorry. Your life is like that because you don’t have the freedom we had.

[00:50:07] Susanne: cause it’s so fun to throw a party your parents don’t know about. That’s it. That’s it. That’s it.

[00:50:11] Missy: Yeah, but don’t do it, kids. Don’t do

[00:50:13] Susanne: do it.

don’t do it. Don’t let him have our bourbon, it’s expensive.

[00:50:19] Missy: Right.

[00:50:20] Susanne: It’s the good stuff. Give him the gross stuff.

[00:50:23] Track 4: Oh

[00:50:23] Susanne: my gosh, okay, well, we need to, we’re kicking you out of here because you need to go and be with

[00:50:30] Missy: Yes, congratulations on baby

[00:50:32] Keely: Thank you.

[00:50:33] Missy: our best.

[00:50:34] Susanne: Will you

please send us a baby photo?

[00:50:37] Keely: Absolutely will. Yes. Thanks.

[00:50:39] Missy: Yeah, baby photos and send us animal photos. We’ll put them in the show

[00:50:42] Keely: Yeah. Okay.

[00:50:44] Susanne: In no particular order.

[00:50:46] Track 4: order.

[00:50:46] Missy: Yeah.

[00:50:46] Keely: At one point in the show, I had like my entire hand in Rolo’s mouth, like keeping him quiet.

[00:50:50] Susanne: Oh my goodness, they

are

adorable. Oh, well, they can have their feature moment here. Bring them on the camera. Oh,

[00:50:59] Keely: Thank you.

[00:50:59] Missy: They’re adorable. All right. Well, have a wonderful evening. Good luck with the baby.

[00:51:03] Susanne: And the end of the

[00:51:04] Keely: so much.

[00:51:05] Susanne: again. Can you say the URL one more

[00:51:07] Missy: Oh, yeah.

[00:51:08] Keely: Yep. www. iam more. co. uk.

[00:51:14] Susanne: Perfect.

[00:51:15] Missy: right. And we’ll put it in the show

[00:51:17] Keely: Thank you. Amazing. Thank you, ladies. It’s been lovely. Thank you. Take care.

[00:51:22] Susanne: to your sister. Bye

[00:51:23] Missy: Yeah. Bye.

Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you know someone else who could benefit from the episode, please be sure and share it with them. And while we’re begging, please subscribe and rate us wherever it is you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in our show notes or over at our website, momandpodcast.

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[00:52:10] Missy: So, yeah, and I have kind of a serious learn by the time this episode is out, this will be kind of old news and everyone will know, but I want everybody to go get their mammograms because I got my annual mammogram and there was a spot this year that was not there last year. And that’s why you go do them every year.

And I am thankful that what I have is DCIS, it’s ductal carcinoma in situ, depending on where you read it. Some people will be like, that’s pre cancer, not real cancer. My oncologist says this is cancer. It’s just cancer that is trapped inside a milk duct and hasn’t gone anywhere else yet. So that’s why you go get your mammograms because if I hadn’t done it, who knows what it would have done.

It’s a pretty big spot and it grew that big in a year and eventually it can get out of the ducts. And so I’m glad we found it when we did. And, um, I’m going to have a mastectomy, so I’m sure we’ll have some episodes where we talk about what that is like. and as we record, I haven’t done that yet, but by the time you’re listening to this, that will be in the past.

And I bet I’m. Back to business, at least I hope I am. but yeah, go get your mammograms and if you have questions or fears or want to just want to talk about it, just reach out to me, you can find us on social media and I’d be happy to talk to you about my experience or connect you with other people I’ve met through this experience and share what I know and what I don’t know, there’s so much I don’t know, but we’ll, yeah.

Every day I’m learning so much.

[00:53:40] Susanne: yeah, you’ve had a crash course on it in the past few weeks. So,

[00:53:44] Missy: It’s been a really fast process. Again, this is old news by the time you’re listening to it, but it’s been fast. It went from We’re now at about a month from my mammogram, my original mammogram. And then it was a callback and a biopsy. And I was one week from biopsy to oncologist. And it has been a really super fast process and I’m thankful for that because the more time I have, the more I think about it and I just, let’s just get it done.

And I am fortunate that I think this mastectomy will be my treatment. That’s not the case for a lot of women, but I think we will go in, have surgery and hopefully be done.

So go get them squished ladies. Go get them

squished. It’s not fun, but go do it.

[00:54:22] Susanne: No, it’s such a good reminder. I know I always it’s frustrating when things are awareness months or whatever, because

[00:54:29] Missy: know, when this run, well, maybe will it be October when this is out

[00:54:33] Susanne: it might

[00:54:33] Missy: or close

[00:54:34] Susanne: it’ll be

[00:54:35] Missy: or close.

[00:54:36] Susanne: yes. So become pre aware and. Yeah, no matter what month you’re listening to this, because some new listener may be listening to it in February, make that your awareness month, just whatever. Yeah, make sure you’re on your

[00:54:48] Missy: Yeah. And just go talk to your doctor and get it scheduled in some places. Some places I think will allow you to self schedule. don’t know all the laws. I don’t understand all the insurance. I am learning, but I think there you can self schedule and say, I just want my annual mammogram and go do

[00:55:06] Susanne: know. Yes, and you have inspired me too. Even though I am on schedule with my mammogram, I am way behind on my colonoscopy. Which that is where, that’s where Suzanne has her problems and I’m, I’m supposed to be on a more aggressive schedule of doing that. So

[00:55:23] Missy: All right. Get it done.

[00:55:24] Susanne: I’m getting it done. You’ve inspired me.

. So yeah, get,

[00:55:28] Missy: Might screw up a month or two of your life, but you’ll be glad you got it done.

[00:55:32] Susanne: Hey, get some, get some rest and relaxation and heal and take care of yourself. And so I do think we did have some episodes pre recorded.

We might end up with a little bit of a bonus summer gap there sometime in September, October, depending on things roll. But, so just know that we’re not going away. We’re just

[00:55:51] Missy: you’re listening to this, yeah, we will, we’ll have announced like what it’s going to look like, I think by the time this episode runs.

[00:55:58] Emily: Your episodes are very binge friendly, ladies. I feel like I listen to them in batches.

[00:56:01] Susanne: Oh good.

[00:56:03] Missy: good.

[00:56:03] Emily: all this work for us listeners. I’m a listener too.

[00:56:05] Susanne: Oh,

[00:56:06] Missy: for listening.

[00:56:07] Susanne: you.