Build “Super” Skills, Habits and Confidence

Apple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsSpotifySoundCloudStitcherRSSPocketCastsYouTube

October 21, 2021

Mom &… Podcast Episode 41

Guest: Lori Oberbroeckling, Secrets of Supermom

Show Summary

Lori Oberbroeckling is the author of Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work and Home and How You Can Too! 

She is a wife and mom to four tiny humans, all while working as a corporate executive and nurturing several side-hustles. She helps moms who want it all develop the skills, habits, and confidence to happily have it all.

Skills, habits, and confidence? That’s a Mom &… Podcast trifecta of things we want to share with our listeners. Give this episode a listen for real life advice on how to manage all the things, all the time without completely losing your mind.

Topics From This Episode (Complete Transcript Below… scroll down)

  • Time Management
  • Mindset
  • Rest

Resources and Links From This Episode

Look, Listen, Learn

Lori:

Missy:

Susanne:

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

  • Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
  • Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
  • Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
  • Follow our Facebook Page
  • Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
  • Follow us on Instagram
  • Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Build Super Skills, Habits and Confidence with Lori Oberbroeckling

Transcript* From This Episode

*Please note that this transcript is automatically generated through our editing software. Expect odd errors and misunderstood words. In fact, if you find a really funny one, send it to us, and we may feature it – and you – on our socials!

EP41 Lori Oberbroeckling Transcript:

Susanne: [00:00:00] Welcome to the mom and dot.dot podcast. I’m Susanne Kerns, a mom, and dot, dot, dot LGBTQ ally writer.

And this week , , a real grown up furniture owner after 15 months, no more mattress on the floor. I mean, when did we move into this house? Last July?

Missy: the pandemic. Yeah.

Susanne: I’ve learned my lesson about getting rid of furniture too quickly during the move.

Missy: Well, and when you order new things during a pandemic, when everything is stuck on cargo ships, and it just takes

Susanne: So excited.

Missy: Well, and I’m Missy Steven’s mom and dot.dot writer, foster care advocate. And this week girls’ weekend getaway trip planner for the first time, since I think my last girl’s weekend was February 2020,

Susanne: So jealous

Missy: excited and speaking of excited, we are beyond thrilled for today’s guest.

She lives up to a brand as a supermom. Laurie Oberbroeckling is author of secrets of a supermom. How extraordinary [00:01:00] moms succeed at work and home and how you can too.

Susanne: I’m holding the book up here for our, for our YouTube viewers.

Missy: She is a wife and a mom to four tiny humans all while working as a corporate executive and nurturing several side hustles.

She helps moms who want it all develop the skills, habits, and confidence to happily have at all. I mean, skills, habits and confidence. It’s like should be the tagline of our podcast. That’s what we’re going for here. Welcome.

Lori: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m excited to be here.

Susanne: So excited to have you here. And now, before we get into the details of the book and all the exciting information that you have in there would love to hear a little bit more about you and your background and all those side hustles, and maybe a little bit about your family, whatever you want to share.

Lori: Sure, absolutely. So, , as you said, I am a wife. I have four kiddos. , my oldest just turned 12 and my youngest is five. So there’s about six and a half years between the four of them. , so went from no kids to. [00:02:00] A lot of kids, uh, really fast, right. To all the kids. Um, and, and yeah, I have been in corporate America for, for a long time now, 17 years, I think, in, in corporate America and work in pharmaceutical research.

And it is incredibly challenging, incredibly great, but I also really missed creativity. Uh, I miss creativity in a lot of the things that I loved to do. And so on the side, I would do things like scrapbook and I would do things like take pictures and I would do crafts and I would make parties and I would do all of these other fun things.

And so I decided in 2017 that I would start a photography business on the side. So I photograph families and newborns and just kind of do this on the side of my, you know, my normal day job. And then in 2020, when everything went berserk-o I was listening to moms and. They were struggling. Right. We know that we know families [00:03:00] struggled a lot, but moms struggled arguably the most.

And so I had been thinking about writing a book. I didn’t know what it would be on. And I feel like this is it. I feel like I can write a book that will help moms and really show them that with some skills and habits and things in place, they can make not perfect lives, but they can sure. Make things easier.

Right. And so I wrote the book, I wrote it in 34 days and cranked it out and, and here we are. So,

Missy: It’s Sam and I are about like, oh

Lori: February. I know it’s

Susanne: a, I have a book proposal that I’ve been working on for what, four years now, Missy.

Missy: about the same amount of time. I’ve had a draft sitting in my drawer that needs to be reworked. Yeah.

Susanne: 30 more days. Okay. So that’s going to be my new NaNoWriMo. I’m gonna like, just knock, knock a Bookout November.

Missy: be done, but we kind of need those skills habits and maybe the confidence.

Lori: [00:04:00] ha

Susanne: did you get all this great information from? So we typically interview coaches, people who are like that is their, you know, that is their trade either a career or life coaching. But I got to say, you know what? I was hesitant when I was reading the book. Cause I was like, oh, maybe more for a tipsy ellipses.

Cause we do moms that aren’t coaches interviews that are still doing really cool things in our tipsy ellipses. But I got to say a lot of the tips and strategies in here are, I mean, it’s stuff that we hear a lot of the coaches say. And I think something that falls into the realm of like really actionable and really valuable stuff.

So is this just from your own reading, your own research, like where were you pulling a lot of this from

Lori: Yeah a combination. So I actually started my career in, um, counseling and marriage and family therapy. That’s where I started out before I moved into research. So now we’re talking like almost 20 years ago, so we’re talking about a long time ago,

Susanne: But a nice foundation.

Lori: and none of that has really left me. I’ve always all of the things that [00:05:00] were very important at the time are still very important.

Now they’re all important for humans to live well, right. To live life well. And so none of that really ever escaped me. And so I continued to talk about it, continue to train on it, uh, continue to practice it right on my own self. And then also, uh, on the other side is so I had these skills that I had built and had continued to learn about, but I also interviewed and surveyed about almost 200 moms, uh, in creative. So before I wrote it, I did this survey and then, uh, you know, reached out to a number of them and talked to them and said, what are you doing? What’s working. What’s not working. What is, what is really tripping you up all the time? Uh, you know, what is your, your number one win, right? What is the thing that you always do?

And that always works for you. And so getting all of that feedback allowed me to pull all that together, my past education, my knowledge, and then all these moms saying, this is what’s working in this. What is what is [00:06:00] not really, really not working and, and put it together in the book for the 16 secrets that are in there.

Susanne: I’m just so curious because I mean, your, your profession is in research now, so obviously you have, so did you pull from that to do this research or did you work with an outside group to, to

Lori: Nope, just did it all on my own. So my, um, my industry is totally separate from that. So just really on my own reached out and said, Hey, there are some moms I know I’d love to survey you. And then, uh, as I started to do that, I went, oh, wow, I’m getting incredible. So my goal was not 200. My goal was just get a little survey done.

And so then I thought, wow, I’m getting really valuable information. Do you know some moms, could you share this? And then we just shared it. And we, you know, we got a lot, a lot of feedback, so it was great.

Susanne: Yeah, that’s what we just heard from Lisen Stromberg from a work, pause, thrive. She was our last episode. I’m trying to remember what,

Missy: before our 40th, I

Susanne: before our 40th, but, um, yeah, she said, you know, eventually her publisher was just like, okay, you gotta write the book. [00:07:00] But there were so many people who wanted to share their experience and fill out the survey and have their, have their, uh, experiences be heard.

Lori: Yeah, we just love to do that. Right. We love to be able to answer surveys. We love to do quizzes and those sorts of things. We just want to share. We want to be able to and talk about things we don’t always get to talk about. Right. Moms are doing all the things. They don’t get to talk about how they’re doing all the things because often

Susanne: exactly.

Missy: a lot about that missing piece for moms for so long that I think people like you and like we are trying to make that change, that we have a lot to say whether it’s , currently really valuable stuff, or if it’s things we need to see change, we have a lot to say about that.

And so it’s a great, um, service you offered to just let people talk about it and then compile it in a book

Lori: Yeah.

Missy: . But speaking of the book . Was there a piece of it , that you were struggling with? Was there anything in your 16 tips that you thought, [00:08:00] well, I’m not doing this well, and whether the book helped you figure it out or you’re still working on, is there something that’s still kind of a struggle?

Lori: Yeah. The first, so there’s three parts. The very first part are the key secrets, right? The four things that really everyone needs, and one of those is help. And one of those is very difficult for me. So asking for help is still really hard. Um, it’s really hard for me to say I can’t do all of this. Um, and. And even if I can do it all, I don’t have to do it. All right. It’s hard for me to say, I could fit all these things in, but I would be exhausted and maybe angry and maybe impatient. And I don’t have to go there. I can, you know, I can ask someone to help me. I can say, no, I can set boundaries. I can do all of these things.

And it doesn’t say anything about me. It doesn’t say I can’t do it. It doesn’t say that I am not good enough. It doesn’t say that I’m not a good mom or I’m not a good employee, or [00:09:00] I’m not a good executive leader or I’m not a good anything. It just says that I know where my important boundaries are and I’m willing to set them.

And so that has been a struggle for me for many years, many years. And, and it still is. It still is. I would say probably every day, there are places where I have to say no, no, no. That is not a big yes. For you. You have to stop and you have to say no to.

Missy: How do you see that play out at work? I’m just curious because one of my tos at work is yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Because it’s work and I’m being paid. So how do you do that and how has it responded to by the people around you?

Lori: Um, so that is a hilariously timed question because I literally had a meeting yesterday with my leader. Right. And he said, how are you with setting boundaries right now? His exact question to me, how are you setting boundaries right now? Because he knows that is, that is a struggle for me, I will say yes to all of the things.

[00:10:00] And, and it’s, I usually am saying yes to things that are awesome. Right. I’m not saying yes to things that I hate. I’m not saying yes to do like a terrible project. I’m saying yes, because it sounds amazing, but I can’t do everything. And so. It is, it’s very hard for me. Um, one of the, one of my go tos is I can’t do that right now.

I may have time in the future. I may have time in three weeks, you know, if I’m looking at a schedule. And so that’s often a softer way of saying no for me, because maybe it’s something they need right now, or maybe they really want me to be part of it and they’re willing to wait and maybe that’s okay too.

So it really, um, that has been, if I know it’s something that is super awesome, but it’s just not going to fit in my schedule right now to kind of put it off. Yeah.

Susanne: Oh, that’s really smart.

Lori: Yeah.

Susanne: Cause yeah, the title’s kind of like. I love it. And then part of it originally I read the wrong way. So I want to clarify that for anybody. So the supermom idea, [00:11:00] because we feel like there is this supermom kind of this Pinterest where the Instagram, where the mom, but when you’re talking, when you’re talking about the supermom in this book, it really is just being your best self and setting up your life in a way so that you can be your best self.

The goal is not to be the ultimate mother. That’s doing all these amazing things for your children. So just in case, I

Lori: yeah, no, you’re, you’re saying that the best thing, because for me, I want an amazing career. Right? I love working. I love having a career. I love working with brilliant people. It is an absolute joy for me, but guess what? I love making crafts with my kids and making dinner with them and hanging out with them just for fun and watching movies.

I love that too. I want all of that and I want to feel present and happy in both. And I feel like in order to do that, you have to know how to be a supermom. And that is really being a supermom, not throwing elaborate parties or, or being perfect on the outside and crumbling on the.

Susanne: [00:12:00] Yeah, it’s just knowing your priority. Setting those boundaries enforcing those boundaries. I mean, so, yeah. So I just wanted to clarify that for anybody else who was like, is this going to be something about making, you know, the best cupcakes? No, it’s,

Lori: No.

Susanne: it is very much so many. If you like the lessons and the philosophy that we talk about here on the podcast, it’s reinforcing a lot of those habits and a lot of those thought patterns.

So, uh, just wanted to clarify that in case anybody else I just had that, I don’t know why I just had that original trigger and then it’s like, oh no, no, no, this, this is exactly everything that we believe in. But that supermom thing, oh, ease is this idea of not saying no, it’s, you know, uh, that’s what my original conception of the word was.

It meant that you do do all the volunteering. You do say all the yeses, you, you know, you don’t

Missy: you do not sleep.

Lori: Yeah. Right. It’s true.

Susanne: I, I am glad you addressed it on a Workfront. Cause we’re doing that for things that you don’t even [00:13:00] get paid for. It is a whole different element of pressure when yes, you are getting paid for it.

So I love that whether you’re getting paid for it or whether it’s volunteer or something that you’re doing for your kids. I like that idea of like, I can’t do that right now. I mean, that works. That covers the base for everybody.

Missy: Yeah. And I think like we taught our children to say, I don’t know how to do that yet. You know, the growth mindset type stuff that they, they really worked on in their elementary school, which I love. So instead of I can’t tie my shoes it’s I am learning. I don’t know how to tie my shoes yet. So it’s that same concept of, I don’t, I can’t do that right now.

Not saying no, no, no. And I’m saying that now, and if someone else comes up that can do it sooner. Fine.

Susanne: Yeah, and that’s great. Well, then that kind of leads into, you had really great stuff around time management. Um, and that is yes. , and we’ve kind of brought up this idea of, we’ve spent a lot of episodes talking about who we are, value setting or whatever, but I do think that the two.

Areas tie [00:14:00] into each other. Like, you need to know what you’re managing. Like, like we talked about the idea of organizing your refrigerator when it’s full of moldy food. Like, like it’s, it’s, doesn’t make any sense to reorganize and have a beautifully stacked refrigerator full of spoiled food, where in same thing, you can have a beautifully managed, you know, Trello board of things that are not getting you to where you want to be in life.

So we’ve, so we love tying in those two pieces of like knowing what you really want and then figuring out, um, how to make that work into your life. And part of it is you need to get the time management to even be able to think about what are the things that you value is that is it’s, it’s a little bit of a, I don’t know, and we’re chasing our tails there, but, um, Especially as the world is opening up.

I think that we are feeling it. A lot of our listeners are feeling it. We are a little rusty it’s setting those boundaries around invitations and the volunteer requests.[00:15:00] , so what do you do? You know, you got to decide which things you want to say that I’m, I can’t do that right now, too, but like, is that a gut thing?

Do you have like a three-step checklist that you go through in your head to be like, this is something that I want, you know, should be doing, or this is something that doesn’t make sense for me right now. , what are your strategies for thinking around those decisions?

Lori: Yeah, I think there’s a couple things. So one, as things start to open back up and we start to have all of these options, right? We’ve got so many options for things that are coming back, but I think we went from moving at a hundred miles an hour to nothing. Right. Everything went away and we have this beautiful moment where we can pause and say, what did I really miss?

And what didn’t I miss at all? What was something that left my plate? And I literally never thought about it again, maybe because it wasn’t fun because it wasn’t lighting me up because it [00:16:00] wasn’t getting me towards goals. Maybe there were people that were part of it that we didn’t love. Right. And then what were the things that, wow, I missed that so much.

You know, all I wanted to do was, you know, go back to the office or all I wanted to do was go back and have church in, in person, or all I wanted to do was be part of this group and those things. Those are the things we want to add back in, but those other things we’ve got to take that really intentional thought. I actually miss this? Do I actually want to put this back in my life? Because if nothing else, if the pandemic does nothing else for us, let it be a light to say here’s what was really great about my life. And here’s what wasn’t so great and what I don’t have to go back to because I into it for a year and a half and I don’t have to go back.

So I think that is sort of a beautiful moment that we have that we can take advantage of. But there are two questions. I also like to ask for this kind of, I have to write, I have to go back to the office. I [00:17:00] have to volunteer for the kids’ classroom because I always did it before I have to, whatever my first question is, do you, as in, do you really. Does it have to be you, does it have to be done at all? Do you have to do this? Because the answer almost always is no. Now if you’re getting paid for something and you’ve been hired for that job, then yes, you have to do that. If you’d like to keep your job, right. You have to do that. Do you have to feed your kids?

Yes. But you have to make a gourmet meal every night. No, you do not have to do that. Right. So do you have to, and then the other question that I like to flip around is if you’ve decided that yeah, you probably do have to, do you actually get to, so do I get to. Take my kids to school every single day and pick them up every single day.

Cause that’s what I get to do right now. And some days that’s really hard to work meetings around, but I sure also love it. Right. I love that. I have that privilege of being able to do that [00:18:00] because that will go away. And I know that it’s going to go away for me in the blink of an eye, right there going to grow very fast.

And I will never do that again. And so changing that mindset around and saying, do I actually get to do this? And it’s not about have to at all. Um, you know, making food for my kids at, at, you know, I like to cook, but I know lots of moms don’t you, but you get to make amazing meals for them or minimal, simple, easy meals for them, 

Missy: You get to keep them alive with basic nutrition.

Lori: Yes, I get to, yes, I get to serve my children. Um, but, but just, I think that those two questions really get to the root of most of it and really help you decide what needs to stay in with.

Missy: I love the idea of get to, and I’ve been employing that actually wasn’t quite in those terms, but, and I can’t remember who we interviewed, who talked about this,

Susanne: think it was around

gratitude. 

Missy: I think it was around gratitude. So maybe Nancy Davis Kho, [00:19:00] but it, that idea when I, I tend to wake up in the morning and think, cause this is what I have to do today.

Kind of mentally go over that checklist. But in a have to, I have to get this done, this, done this done and seriously on a day that I can wake up and say, I get to go do these things today, or I get to vacuum the floors today, man. It sounds a little Pollyanna, but it does work like I have I’m my body works.

My brain works. I get to go use that and do all of these things.

Susanne: Hey, and my vacuum did break a couple of weeks ago and Hey, hats off to Dyson. They sent me a new rotor head for it, but I really, when I vacuumed that first time after we got it, I was like, I get to vacuum today.

Lori: well, and I

hate cleaning house, but I, I, oh, well you apparently you’re getting a new one. Sounds like

Missy: Yeah. They’re sending us a new part. Yep.

Lori: The, um, I think I love to have a clean house, but I hate actually cleaning it. So in my mind, it’s the, I get to have a clean house today and [00:20:00] there’s just a path that has to, that has to happen for me to get there.

But I, at the end of the day, I know I’m going to be looking at a clean kitchen and clean bathrooms and , everything put where it’s supposed to go. Oh, it does. It feels so good. So, so yeah, if we get to, I think, uh, and I, I love that it was brought up by someone who was talking about gratitude because I think that’s the perfect way to frame gratitude.

Susanne: Yes. Okay. So now we’re talking about the things that we’re going to fit into the calendar. I am like, uh, Uh, day planner, addict, except for, I never find one that is like, perfect, but I will, I will die try. And like, I loved them so much. There’s nowhere happier for me than like a stationary store with all the day planners.

And there’s, there’s so much hope and potential there for me to just get my together. 

Missy: pretty

pens books. I think I’m going to rule the world with them. I

Lori: I know.

Susanne: and every time I buy one, I’m like, oh, this Hobonichi techno planner is going to be the one or whatever it is. And I, I get close. I get [00:21:00] close. I got to tell you my post-it solution that I thought was so great.

Missy, not working for me right now. So, yeah. Um, but anyway, I, I love to hear what people who really seem to have things together that are doing, like, what is your favorite way of making that time and space to actually do the things that are on your calendar and keeping all that organized.

Lori: Oh, it’s such a great question. And you guys are going to hate some of my answers. So one of my answers, I know you’ll hate it. One of my answers is I wake up at four in the morning every day.

Susanne: Okay. It’s been nice talking to you.

Lori: yeah, so I don’t think you have to do that, but my most energized time, my most clear time and my time that I know I will have at least an hour before any other human that needs me in this house wakes up is 4:00 am.

So that is why I chose that it has gotten earlier and earlier as I’ve gotten older and as my kids have grown. , but that’s one of the things. So I plan my day during that window of time. Uh, and I [00:22:00] love that and I totally get it if you are like, I hate you. I’m not ever going to do that. Uh, so I totally get it.

But planning your day, having a. Filled with energy to be able to go over your day or your whole week, if you want to do that, or, you know, I look at that on Sundays, but you could do either way, but my things that I do, I use a daily planner. That’s a paper, you know, like, uh, an actual book, paper planner. Uh, and then we also have a shared digital calendar.

It is through Cozi. If you are familiar with the app Cozi. And my husband enters in there, my oldest kiddo has access to it now, and they will continue to get access as they get older and get phones. And of course I have access and then my husband built a digital board that goes in our kitchen and that app displays on that board.

So

Susanne: We need a picture of

Lori: all sends you a picture. It’s amazing. Yeah. It’s amazing. Uh, everywhere. Anytime anybody comes here, they’re very jealous. It’s super cool. So. That is how we stay organized. And as a [00:23:00] family, everyone knows what’s happening because they’re looking at that kitchen board and they can see what’s happening any day everyone’s assignments are on there.

Everyone’s tasks. Everyone’s we can do meal plans on there. We have weather on there. We all the

Missy: Looking at our fences, 

Susanne: know 

Lori: it’s the coolest. So the D so that digital paper combination with having something visible to our whole family, that kind of trifecta is, is a win for me. I mean, it just works.

Susanne: Okay. So I’m going to get kind of nuts and bolts here. So you’re talking about sitting down and planning your day. So you get up at four o’clock and do that, like, does that take from four to six? Like how much, how much time do you spend actually being like, this is what I’m going to do

Missy: Yeah. 

Lori: I spend probably 30 minutes on Sunday planning the whole week. So it only takes me like 10 minutes per day to just go through all the tasks. And I mean, I’m talking, I go through all the things on the list, so that’s do I need to get meat out for dinner? Is there anything I need to prep for, for a meeting that’s later, you know, do I have an interview today?

What do I have to wear today based [00:24:00] on what I have coming up. Right. Um, I do a workout routine in the morning on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So that comes after that planning time and, and yeah. So it’s fairly fast day to day because of that Sunday planning time.

Susanne: Got it.

Missy: So I have to know what time you go to bed at night.

Lori: Ooh. Uh, I like to get in bed after the children are in bed.

We put them to bed at eight 30 and so I like to be in bed by nine and asleep by nine 30, if I can make it happen.

Susanne: Wow. Okay. Well then the four o’clock makes sense then. Yeah.

Missy: I aspire to be a morning person.

Susanne: Maybe not midnight anymore.

Lori: Well, so that’s the, yes, because, so here’s my thing. And I know some of you can relate, cause I’ve talked to mom said that, you know, our thinking about this is that they try to stay up late, 

Susanne: Yes. Is that revenge 

time? 

Lori: well, they’re not actually like they’re not really night people, right?

They’re not spending those. So let’s say you put your kids to bed at night. They’re not spending those next three hours, writing a book, [00:25:00] working on their planning, doing an exercise routine, doing yoga. They’re not doing any of those things. Most of them are. Watching TV doing downtime activities, but not really activities that are building them up and giving them that energy that they really need.

And then in the morning, when you wake up with your kids now, where are you spending your energy? That’s the me time. You’re not if you’ve lost it now. So without finding that time, it doesn’t have to be at 4:00 AM, but , it’s gotta be somewhere. Then you kind of feel like you never got to it.

And so you’re always trying to scramble. And I think that, that, you know, moms struggle with that for sure.

Susanne: There was that amazing article about how that is? I think they call it revenge time where women are staying up super late at night, because somewhere in our brains, we think that this isn’t for me, this is, this is my time. And even if it has zero value, I’m claiming it.

Lori: Yes. I think I saw like [00:26:00] a little meme on that, that they, you know, they were like, falling asleep so exhausted, but I must stay up 20 minutes longer and I, you know, just go to bed,

Susanne: yes, I know I need to find a happy medium cause yeah, I am kind of a late nighter and we’ve got a 16 year old, um, who she goes to bed later than we do. And so it’s kind of, we’ve lost that flow of the kids go to bed and then we do our night.

And so now it’s just like, it’s. There’s always someone up. Um, and we literally,

Missy: her kids tuck her in and kind of, and it’s just, you know, much older teenagers, but yeah, we have a 15 year old in the house now. And if he has practice and homework and wants to eat dinner and wants some downtime of his own, we have limits on that. But still sometimes his limits are later than our limits.

Lori: that, that ends up being super late. And the latest I pick up any children is probably eight 30 for any activities that we do. So that’s, you know, of course, a little bit later night for me and for them, but, you know, I don’t have anybody that has practice till 10:00 PM. [00:27:00] I’m we’re not there yet. We’re not in that stage yet.

So I imagine my life will continue to kind of, you know, circle as yeah. Evolve as those, as those ages come.

Susanne: And you can get strategic about using that time. You know, when you’re waiting in the car, that could be your planning time. It’s just a matter of claiming that time and being strategic with it.

Missy: Yeah. Are you saying tiktok is not a good use of that time?

That’s when I Tik TOK is when I sit in the car, that’s when I go down the scroll hole. Cause I’m waiting to pick somebody up

Susanne: Zoe came down this morning to breakfast and was like, I am, I’m taking a break from Tik TOK again. She’s just like done. So when a 16 year old is like done with Dick and I was like, why? Like I’m trouble with like, trying to talk her back into it. Like, why would you 

do 

Missy: My husband took it off his phone and I was like, what you did, don’t you like it? Isn’t it fun. And you know, he’s going to it’s it’s a time suck because he can’t control when he does that. You know, he realized that his self control was not there and all of [00:28:00] a sudden he’d go, oh, I have a meeting and I’m watching.

And he was also getting some content that was questionable. I was like, I’ve never gotten that content.

Susanne: And, and I don’t want to break any, uh, copyright laws or anything here, so I’m not going to show the full page. I’ll just show a little bit of it. Um, but there is this great grid in the secrets of supermom book about the terrible time-wasters and it’s like a bingo card. And Missy and I were saying, we both had a full blackout this, I mean, so task jumping.

Oh my God. So guilty, uh, procrastination, lack of routine Facebook. I mean, yeah. Multi trying to multitask LinkedIn. It’s so funny to think of LinkedIn as productive some days it does become my new Facebook, um, because the people that we are talking to with career coaches and around careers, obviously LinkedIn is our old place of choice for, um, getting to know really interesting people there.

So

Lori: Yeah, well, and there are so many great [00:29:00] articles, but after you read four great articles in a row, you’re going, wow. I just wasted 25 minutes. Maybe not wasted, but didn’t spend that 25 minutes the way I probably meant to

Susanne: Yes. And I, I love how you said that is because it’s not necessarily wasted. Like if you had a time scheduled in your week for, this is when I am going to do my reading and this is when I go to do my research, then great. That article is then purposeful, intentional. Um, but yeah, if it’s blocking out all the things that you meant to do that particular day, it just has a way of throwing everything out of whack.

So

I think 

Missy: tips for changing that mindset? And maybe I’m the only one who does this, but if I block out time to say this is going to be my reading time and I save articles, or I have my books that I want to get to, there’s something inside of me that thinks, well, what if that time doesn’t come? Or what if by then it’s too late to read this article that are really should read it today?

Or what if I miss a chance to post on Mom & …About it or something, it’s, it gets in my head [00:30:00] that I really should just stop everything and read it right Susanne. And I send each other stuff all the time. I should make a file of that and read those things and then figure out what needs to be posted.

But I don’t, I’m just doing it as it comes. So how can I break that?

Lori: I think, no, I think, no, I don’t think so either. I think as it co you know, we, we do think it has become, because we, we feel like it’s going to go away. Right. We feel like, or I might forget that. Um, and so getting into, I think really sometimes it’s just a bad habit, right? It, habit of me saying I get this and I do it right away.

Instead of changing that habit to say, I get this and I write it down, or I get this and I save it in a folder. My process is I get this. And then I do something else. Not the, you know, that cue is, must be read right now. I must read you, you know, I I’m going to be lost if I don’t. And so it really, I think is noticing it, right.

That’s always, our first thing is noticing what we’re [00:31:00] doing. That’s maybe not working and then saying, what do I do now? What could I change that behavior, that routine, you know, if you think about habit research, cue, you know, and then. We’ve got this cue, we’ve got that trigger and then what’s the routine I’m going to do.

So is it going to be, save it in a folder? Is it going to be flagged in my email? Is it going to be, you know, write it down on a little list that I have, like a little post it note, right? However we do it the best. I think that that’s a good way to just start and say, I don’t have to do this right now because so many things, you know, think about the times when you’ve got a text message and an email and an all of it feels like it should be done right now.

What

Missy: All day. Every day.

Lori: yeah. It can’t, you have to be able to say, no, I, you know, I check email from this time to this time, or I, I do certain tasks, you know, and I know that not everybody has that capability. Certain people have jobs that are far more urgent than others. Right. But you definitely have at least some time in your day that is flexible to you, that you could [00:32:00] use.

Um, so I think that those are, those are.

Missy: I fully just had my stomach flip moment. I have one almost every episode where I’m like, Ooh,

Susanne: I’m

doing 

Missy: speaking to me. That’s speaking to me. I mean, I’m sure I’ve talked about it on a number of episodes, but it is a real struggle of mine. I’m not great at time blocking. I’m great at getting a ton of crap done in the day, but not in a way that leaves me feeling peaceful and I want to feel peaceful and I want to not always be scared I’m dropping a ball or all the

Lori: And is it the right stuff even like, do you get to the end of the day? I mean, I, I have these days all the time I get to the end of the day and I may be finished 47 tasks, but one was moving the needle anywhere. Right. Moving the needle on my job or with my family, or, working on my authorship and the kind of, all of those things that go along with it, it maybe was one thing and it was really just a lot of stuff that could have been done tomorrow could have been done earlier, you know, just so making sure that those are the right things.

Sometimes we [00:33:00] want to be busy and not necessarily productive in the right ways.

Missy: Yes, that gets you.

Susanne: I think, I think we just found your quote meme for previewing the episode. I love that. 

Missy: yeah. That is amazing. Um, you looked like you had a question,

Susanne: No, I’m just, I could go on forever. I could

Missy: I could

too. I could too. What time is it

Susanne: I know we gotta respectful of time, but I know we, you had some questions around rests, right?

Missy: I do.

Susanne: We love your chapter 

rest. why we give it a hug.

Missy: Seriously rest is the thing I’ve been obsessed with lately, because I have talked about this before too.

I’ve always been a pretty good rester I listened to my body. I know when I need rest and I do it and I’m making progress on not feeling guilty about it, but I’m not there yet. So how do you, how do you talk to moms, especially who are thinking? I have to stay up all night. I have to get up at 4:00 AM and I [00:34:00] have to go to bed at midnight and I have to do all of these things.

And if I take a nap, I’m a bad mom. How do we work around that guilt and take care of ourselves?

Lori: Well, one, I love if you’re struggling with rest, I love making a list of things that are restful to you because they’re not same for everybody. Right? So you’re saying Missy, that you don’t struggle with knowing what those things are. You’re willing to do them. You just feel guilty when you do actually do them.

Right. And so I think with guilt, I think that everything comes back to being intentional and being aware to me. So. For whatever it is, is doing it things on purpose and paying attention. So for example, um, I like to use the example because of this is something that made a giant difference for me is I changed my eating habits, uh, in 2017, I think, or maybe it was 2016.

I went back to work. Oh yeah, 2016. I went back to work with when my youngest was born. Uh, and I went back to work with all the children. I never took much time off, but [00:35:00] I had heard about the whole 30 and I had heard that that diet would help with all sorts of things, not weight loss. It wasn’t about weight It was really about being a supermom. And I called it that it was about being more patient being, uh, more energized being all of these things. So by doing this whole 30 and really paying attention to how that food impacted me, I saw, wow, I am way more energized. I am way more patient, way more patient.

And so being able to do it intentionally and see those things happen. I said, this is a way of eating for me now. I can’t be perfect and I never will, but it’s a way of eating that I have been able to very easily see is working. So with the same idea, rest, when you take. Then when your kids wake up, I’m willing to bet you’re more patient with them.

Your calmer in general, you feel better. You are maybe more [00:36:00] excited to help with homework or more excited to do dinner or more excited to drive them to 75 million places that night. And so that feeling, they get that too, right? They can tell when you’re stressed and yucky, they might even ask you, why are you so stressed?

Why are you in a bad mood? You know, what’s going on? And so knowing that by being intentional, you can see that rest working for you, that rest making you better, making you a better mom, making you just everything that you want to be. And so it is a lot harder to be guilty if you know what it’s going to give you.

I think is a really nice way to get out of that guilt.

Missy: it is, it goes back to knowing your, why, you know, your why for what you’re doing in your volunteer, work, your career, your family, like, know your why. And if my, why is that? I don’t want to hurt people afternoon, then maybe I need to rest.

Lori: No screaming, bloody murder with your face flushed.

pledged 

Missy: do have a child who will [00:37:00] say, how’d you sleep last night, mom, they know, they 

Susanne: They don’t miss anything.

Lori: Yeah.

Missy: miss a thing. And of course I want to be like, I slept fine. What do you mean? No, they know, they know.

Susanne: Oh

Lori: be like, did you have a bad day at work? What happened? Who was on the phone? Right? Like w they know that something is not right. And so, yeah. They can see it in your face. They can feel it in your energy when you’re driving the car. Like, Hey,

Missy: Yeah,

Lori: you know, so I

think, uh, it, when you rest, right, and you get what you need, you know it, and you can tell it in all the.

Missy: that is so true

Susanne: And I think the same message that you’re just saying about rest applies to a lot of the things in your book and this idea of supermom, again, not being the supermom to everybody else. This is about being a supermom for you. then because of that, you’re able to, be part of everybody else’s life and a much pleasant and whole way, 

Missy: A contributing member of society.

Lori: Yeah. Everybody gets that benefit. Right. If you’re [00:38:00] more amazing inside everybody benefits by that, your kids do your partner, does your coworkers, do you know if you’re an amazing leader and you feel amazing, you’re going to be better than the people that you are supporting. You’re going to be better at the people that you report to.

You’re going to just, I feel like it is this overflow that just overflows to all of it. So

Susanne: Yes. Love it so much. So yes. Secrets of supermom. Yeah. We’re going to have to have a, off the record part two where you tell us how you wrote a book and just a little over a It’s a crazy,

Lori: Madness.

Missy: inspiring to me because it is a matter of looking at everything you’ve got going on and planning appropriately. And it’s, that’s why I think that it kind of talk makes my stomach flip because it’s calling me out. I know what I’m not doing. I know what I need to do. Let’s

Lori: We know, we know it’s in there. We just, are we gonna let it like hide? Or are we going to bring it out and say, all right, this, this is what’s happening. I’m going to address it. And I’m going to fix [00:39:00] it, you know, or, or not fix it or say, I’m not fixing you

Missy: Right.

Lori: turning around and saying goodbye to whatever it is.

Susanne: Oh, and that’s what the whole podcast is about. So we hope that there was a lot more tummy flipping out there for listeners to the same stuff that Missy and I have been like. Yep, yep, yep. Yep. We’re going

Missy: highly recommend the book

Susanne: Yes. And I hate to do it a disservice. I mean, it’s incredible to say that you wrote it in a little over a month, but this is not a book that you’re like, oh yeah.

It’s clearly someone only took a month to write

Missy: right. mean. That’s why we were blown away.

Susanne: Yeah. It is packed full of great information. And I think a lot of that does come from, I mean, obviously very successful in your career, but also your past experience that you said in family counseling. um, so there’s just a lot of different levels that come together and understanding, understanding what raising four humans, , can be like and what needs to happen in order to pull that together.

So do you do any, uh, book events or anything or any talks around it? Are you primarily doing a pharmaceutical job?[00:40:00] 

Lori: So I do, , , I have a podcast, so I talk about the book and the podcast. , and then I’ve done some kind of smaller events. , we weren’t really, oh, you know, everything was still pretty locked down when the book first came out. So no book tour or anything like that. , but certainly I’ve done, you know, individual, if, if folks are thinking, oh, I would love to have her come speak, totally happy to do that.

So you can reach out to me, , on Instagram or on my website. And I love doing that, you know, cause it’s really fun to get real questions from real moms that are really struggling and be able to work through that, , , in small groups and that sort of thing. So really.

Susanne: Yeah. And also can’t recommend the podcast enough. So where does the best way for people then to find you and to find the podcast? I’m assuming that your website,

Lori: Yeah. Website secrets of supermom.com is really where everything is. It’s where the podcast links are. Uh, you know, all of my social media and get the book there , if you want to grab the book. And so, yeah, that’s the best place for me

Missy: We’ll put it all in our show notes as well.

Susanne: All right. So we are going to kick off the look, listen, [00:41:00] learn segments where it’s just a little opportunity for listeners. Get to know you outside of your professional life and to enhance all our.dot dots after moms.

So, um, they can be silly or useful or useless, 

Missy: Yeah. 

Susanne: it can be something that’s cutting edge and trending or as my Sopranos viewing habit, decades old. So, Lori, would you like to kick off? You can do. Yeah. Look, listen, or learn or all three.

Lori: Okay. So look, uh, I am always reading. Always, , my goal this year was 50 books. , I’m on track to get to 50. I’m not there yet. Um, but right now I’m reading take back your time by Christy, Wright? I don’t know. I feel I’ve heard of that one. Um, but it’s really talking about work-life balance and kind of a different way.

And obviously I love to learn about this kind of stuff, I think it’s so important. It’s so important for, for moms. , and I think it’s important for women and, and so I’m excited to get more into that book. I’m only, I don’t know, [00:42:00] 30 pages in or so, but I’m liking it so far, so ready to finish that one up and then, you know, move on to my next one.

I love, love, love, reading, um, listening. So I, my most binge listened to podcast I think is crushed the rush by Holly Haines. She works with. Has twins, uh, and then runs a business on the side, runs a coaching business on the side. So she’s doing all of this, , at the same time and it’s kind of mind-boggling but her, so her podcast episodes are short and actionable and it’s really just good stuff.

Cause it, you know, that’s kind of what I’m doing too. Right. So learning from her has been cool. Um, and then learning, I am in a mastermind, so I am doing a retreat this week. We have not started, but it’s going to be soon. And so that’s my next big learning. I’m excited about that. I love retreats and workshops and all of that stuff is just, it’s so fun to work with other women.

It’s so fun to just [00:43:00] learn a lot, but also be able to apply it right after. And so I love that kind of stuff.

Missy: They talk about that missed.

Lori: this one’s a content team. So kind of using your content, in the best way. So for me, my content is my book, right? So how can I take a chapter of my book and use it in a whole bunch of different ways and help people in a whole bunch of different ways using the same kind of central theme.

So I’m excited for

Susanne: Interesting. Oh 

Missy: yeah.

I can’t see what comes out of that for

Lori: yeah. Me too. You too. And I’m hoping it will be, it’s about being efficient with it as well. Right. Being able to take a lot of things to a lot of places, but not require a lot of time because we’re all, you know, lacking that I suppose.

Susanne: All right. what about you, Missy? Good luck following that up. No,

Missy: no kidding. Am I not quite that good? Okay. So after we talked about time stocks, I’m going to talk about Tik TOK. So have either of, you seen [00:44:00] noodle, the pug on Tik Tok, have you come across

Susanne: don’t do the talk unless to me.

Missy: Okay. So not long ago. It was the first time I ever saw this during my sit in the car. Scroll time. Old pug. And every day has owner goes to say, do we have bones or no bones? Is it a bones day or a no bones day?

And he’ll pick the pug up. And the Puggy there stands and that’s a bones day or like flops back down on its bed. And it’s a no bones day. And it has become like, it’s, it’s just infiltrated its way into the Tik TOK land. It’s crazy how things do that on that app. But so all these other people are making posts about how well they can’t go into work because it’s a no bones day singing songs about what kind of bones day they’re having.

I was thinking about it when, when we were talking today that we all have no bones days, some days, and we need a strategy for that noodle. The pug needs no strategy, obviously, but we need. To [00:45:00] know what to do on the days we wake up without bones and I love thinking of it like that. It kills me. So that’s my look this week is that I have been looking at the Tik Tok and everything that pops up in my feed.

It has some sort of bones reference and it just kills me.

Susanne: now I 

Lori: Check doc knows how much you love it. And

now feed you everything that

you 

Missy: is, I mean, it’s a sneaky algorithm

Susanne: Oh, it is,

Missy: oh. 

Susanne: you don’t even need click on anything. You just look at it and it

Missy: Yeah. I’m sure now I’ve talked about it.

Lori: I told my kids to get off mine. I was like, you’re going to mess with my algorithm. I see what you want Get off my Tik Tok.

Missy: I don’t want to see the dances or kids doing pranks or trick skateboard things. I don’t want to see that

Susanne: Yes. You, I dog flopping down. 

Missy: Yeah. I want to noodle in his bones.

Susanne: I love noodle. The pug that just like, it seems so like pugs are not noodles.

Missy: No. And when he flops down, I mean, he just sometimes goes face first and the [00:46:00] edge of his bed. Like, he’s just like,

Susanne: Oh my gosh. We are all you noodle.

Missy: yeah, I feel you noodle. Like I relate. So, and I’ve been listening to, um, I feel so basic, but I’ve been listening to Adele’s new song, easy on me. all listened to it? I love Adele. And you know, most of her songs are breakup. He relationshipy. And though, of course I had some sad breakups in my life. I’ve been fairly fortunate and I have been married a really long time, so it’s not like, I feel like she’s singing for me, but. Everything, a lot of her songs I should say I can put in terms of my own life.

So it’s transition time, making changes, having to let go of something old to do something new. And so I have been loving that one and then just going through my Adele library and having very emotive, belting it out sessions. So sorry for my neighbors, because I can’t sing.

sing at all,

Lori: That’s my favorite belting at the top of your lungs. Uh, the 

Missy: It feels [00:47:00] so good. And I get so much more done if I, um, if I have music, that’s speaking to me on whatever level it is. And I’ve been trying to work on an updated playlist for the book I’m writing to go with my main character. I had one, but she’s grown a little bit since the first draft and she’s changed.

And so I’m looking for songs that speak to me on that level. been super fun, too.

Susanne: I’m going to interrupt here. Is that a book, coach idea? Like, did they, met with your book coach yet?

Missy: No, I haven’t even sent in the 

Susanne: Oh, you okay. 

Missy: but I had done it.

Susanne: I’m coming after you.

Missy: Yeah. But no, that’s, I’ve heard other people talk though about having a playlist way when I made a list of songs that were what I thought she was going to be, but she’s not that anymore.

Um, so I’m having to update for this second draft this long awaited second draft. Yay!, Uh so yeah, so I think, yeah, I’ll leave it there. I’ll say I have a couple other things, but we’ll leave it there for this week.

Susanne: All [00:48:00] right.

Missy: What about you?

Susanne: okay. So I have been watching and it’s all done. We already binged it all Midnight Mass. Have you ever heard of this? It is it’s on yet. You don’t hear these cause you go to do productive things for Lori. She’s like you too. No wonder you’re not getting anything

done. 

Missy: Watching a pug all day long.

Lori: all day.

Susanne: It’s a midnight mass. It’s supernatural horror. Um, it’s on Netflix and it’s on. Isolated island, but it’s like one of those east coast, like Misty cold islands, not like Hawaii tropical island. Um, and this community starts having all these like supernatural events and there’s a mysterious priest that arrives.

And it’s the homecoming of this guy who , has been imprisoned after, um, accidentally killing a woman in a car accident. And so he’s coming home to live with his parents on the island, kind of with his tail between [00:49:00] legs.. Um, and it’s super like, I’m sure that a lot of the religious themes got lost on me since I’m the resident.

heathen, but as going through like an entire lifetime it’s, uh, St Paul’s Catholic church, it was shocking. How, like, just a note on the organ, I’d be like, I know that prayer, like, I mean, I could do the full prayer. I knew all the moves. I was like, man, that’s, it’s it’s muscle memory. Talk about habits and, you know, association, like I have not been in church for 20 years, but I could.

Missy: camera

Susanne: I, yeah, I can do the whole, I could have been a, an alter boy if you made me, because I know all the moves, I know their moves. I know my moves. Um, but yes, so that was just kind of interesting, but it’s, it depends what y’all are into. I thought it was pretty it as for like supernatural horror. It was, but with, with the message, but with like, it had a little depth of character, a little [00:50:00] more than it.

Wasn’t just someone, you know, going around and being all stabby. There was like some, there was some deep thoughts in there too.

Missy: So I think Netflix releases a horror show every year about this time. And is it the same? Do you know? Is this the same guy? Like there was the haunting of hill house

Susanne: I, it might be because people were saying that the director is someone they’re like, oh, that director always gets me. You know, like leaves me, you know, thoughts after it, instead of just being, Ooh, I’m glad everybody got away. You know, it’s more of a thinker once it’s all done, then just bunch of people

Missy: Right. It’s not slasher type stuff.

Susanne: Well, it gets kind of gross there, but do not watch while eating.

Missy: I just think about it if I’m putting this on my list, 

Susanne: Yes. Yeah. But it’s, it’s interesting. I mean, it was interesting enough that like every night we’d be like, okay, let’s go see what’s happening over it. You know, midnight mass, when there’s a lot of other shows that we give up, we usually get things like two episodes. And then we’re just like, ma this worth it.

There’s too [00:51:00] many things. So, um, so that, and then listening, I’m still listening to Circe. Um, and anybody who’s been listening to past episodes is like, Susanne, how long does it take you to listen to a book? I have, I have read and listened to like five books in the course of trying to get past the third chapter Circe cause I was really intimidated at first.

Cause they started like rattling off this huge list of Greek gods and goddesses and mythology I was like, I don’t know enough about any of these people to know what’s going on. I don’t recognize any of the names, but enough of our guests on the show have actually recommended this book was like, I mean, think it was Julie Lythcott-Haims.

I’m like, seriously, she’s not going to recommend a bad book. So, um, so I, I kept with it and, oh my gosh, it’s this lovely story about a woman discovering herself and fully living as her most selfish self so yeah. I mean if anybody else is reading it and it’s like, oh my gosh, this is just

a whole lot of, yeah, because for a while it was just like, oh, I am I going to need a chart to [00:52:00] memorize all these names and who’s whose son, and who’s having an affair with who, whatever.

But now it’s just a lovely lady on an island. You know, singing she’s does a lot of singing, Missy belting out the tunes on the island

Missy: Probably not hurting her neighbors here.

Susanne: No, no. Um, but anyway, so that has been, now that I’m into that, that is one of those. And I’m like, I’m usually like podcast podcast podcast, but it takes a really good book to get me out of that mode. And like, I’ve got my headphones on, I’m like, Ooh, what Circe doing now? So it is very good. And then both Missy and I were at the Mom 2.0 virtual conference last week and I’m still processing a lot of the stuff we learned there.

Oh my gosh. It just turned every time I opened up the screen. It was so awesome. Nancy Davis Kho is there KJ Dell’Antonia is there and doing really great sessions on podcasting. And I mean, it’s just all the people that got us to the point where we [00:53:00] felt confident enough to come on. So we learned a lot from that, but it was very awesome to hear a lot of these amazing smart women saying that we were at this national turning point where, you know, women truly are the unpaid social safety net of U S society. And because of COVID, the number of women in the workforce is now back to the number from 1989, like progress has just boop.

So

Lori: my soul. If I, I hate hearing all of that, it just, yeah,

Susanne: Yeah. And I mean, and there’s once, I mean, part of me when, as being a stay-at-home mom, Missy, and I talk about this run, like, oh, it feels like I’m totally letting go of all my feminist principles, but there is part of it when you’re making the choice to do it where like, no, that is the ultimate. Feminist principle, to be able to make a choice that’s best for you and your family.

But [00:54:00] I cannot imagine that all those millions of women

Missy: That was not for so 

Susanne: was not a choice. Um, so, you know, as we talk about, I got my smash, the patriarchy shirt on, and I don’t think it’s necessarily that a bunch of men said quit women. Um, but it was, it’s very obvious that

Missy: there’s no infrastructure in 

Susanne: Now there’s bad infrastructure, but there’s just social norms that people and families and whatever just automatically go. Well, one of us has to stay home and watch the kids, I guess it will be you and, and maybe these conversations weren’t had before in marriages, or maybe, you know, they weren’t had in the office place, but apparently we all defaulted in one particular direction.

And that was sending women 20 years back in the workforce. So it’s that 20 years? I can’t know. My God. It’s 30 

Missy: longer than 20 years. Yeah.

Susanne: I’m 

Missy: Would you say, was it last said 10 years ago when we were in college now it’s like, no,

Susanne: Oh, I’m feeling so youthful [00:55:00] today.

Missy: great that you feel so young.

Susanne: am, but, oh, and the other thing, cause I just want to end this on a super low note is, um, how much, how much is tied to employment, insurance, 401k, social security, and like there’s so much that is bound to employment. And then when there’s no safety net besides women, you know, saying, okay, yeah, I got to stay home and make sure the kids can do virtual school for a year.

Um, it’s, it’s just, we need, we need to do some work. And I was excited to see just how many, really smart, amazing women are out there doing the work coming to conferences and teaching the rest of us, what we can do in our daily life to help fix it. So, , I’m very hopeful for the day. And Christine Koh ended up with, , the idea that.

Let’s get to a place where , women, anyone can focus on what they want out of life, not just what they feel they should, , or need to be [00:56:00] doing. , and I had all kinds of other stuff I was going to talk about with Christine Koh’s great advice for, , how to decide whether you should spend time with someone.

And I’m going to put that. Maybe we’ll make a little bonus thing out of

Missy: should. 

Susanne: a little lengthy and we’ve already gone a couple of minutes over. , but , Christine Koh has the edit your life podcast and, uh, we just love her and she’s had some really she’s on a roll with some really amazing articles.

Um, I think she does Boston globe and, um, 

Washington 

Missy: she’s had some in the posts.

Susanne: Yeah. So we’ll, we’ll do a little Christine Koh devotional. We’ll share some information about her and then all of these amazing tips that she had in her session about how to decide whether or not to say yes to keep that boundary up.

Um, for, if someone asks you to go have dinner and you’re trying to decide this is worth my time. So I’m working to end it with a teaser then.

Missy: There you go.

Susanne: Yes. high note and a teaser.

Missy: I don’t know. I’m so inspired to go dig more deeply into the secrets of the supermom.

Susanne: Oh I know I’m [00:57:00] going to, I seriously, I’m going to make a copy of this page print it out and put it every I not to sit at my computer, like in my car and my, whatever. I should just, you know, where I need, I don’t want to show you all my driver’s license, but I need to put it here, on the other side of my So that when I open up my phone, it’s like a little message. I used to have a message over here. My screensaver was, write your book. Um, but then it gets covered by all the little, the little notices I’m like, well, I can’t write my book because I got a Twitter thing I So yeah, I need to put on the other

side, 

Missy: Yeah. that, that graphic is a good reminder. Like if you just look at it and think, I don’t want to fill those squares today, like how do I not fill those squares?

Lori: Yeah.

Susanne: book is full. Great ways to not fill those squares or to be very intentional the way that you, you feel your day and just so excited about, I can’t wait , to hear more about it and have discussions about it in the group and put some of these lessons into [00:58:00] place in my life.

I know some of them have been there at one point or another and they need a little refresh, so good reminder, but, Lori, we’re so excited to have had the opportunity to talk with you and get to know you a little better. And, , just want to tell everybody to go to your podcasts. Is this, all this information that you got here today, you can get like on a regular basis and get a lot deeper dive as well.

So, um, make sure, can we get your URL again? Just as a 

Lori: absolutely. Secrets of supermom.com and where it all is a pleasure ladies. So fun. You guys are so great.

Susanne: Oh, 

Missy: Thank you so nice to meet you.

Susanne: really appreciate you spending time with today. 

Missy: Yeah. happy to be one of your blocks.

Lori: Yes.

Susanne: All right.